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> Oh well...., Oh well....
TragicLad
Posted: Feb 19 2002, 09:33 PM
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Ever have a false start with a picture? Everything seems to be working well until you reach a certain point where you realize somewhere along the way you took a wrong turn at Albuquerque and it's far too late to backtrack. Only option is to start over.





What was particularly irksome with this is that I actually like what I've got here. It just doesn't really work with the story I'm going to tell. So this lil' darling has to die here and now before I get any further attached to it.


sigh.
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40foot infladible lama
Posted: Feb 20 2002, 06:38 AM
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if you don't mind me asking, what is wrong with it. It is abit hard for me to read your rough work, but from what i can gather there isnt anything up. Or is it just that the body language and what not do not fit in with the story?
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TragicLad
Posted: Feb 20 2002, 08:45 AM
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Don't mind at all. There's a couple of things that are off on this one.

Where I decided to position the camera is what bugs me most on this one. I think that it would be better to start with the camera on the inside of the bus looking out the door as the characters come on.

The character doesn't quite match my intended outcome. I'm trying for a thirteen year old girl who's a bit of an ugly duck. Didn't quite succeed there. Too used to drawing generic looking people.

I'll be trying again tonight after work and will post what I manage. It will be interesting to compare the two.
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CyberPumpkin
Posted: Feb 20 2002, 08:50 AM
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I dig! BTW, looked at your web site. You'd get a ton of hits if you worked on your presentation. You've got the talent, bud!
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TragicLad
Posted: Feb 20 2002, 02:54 PM
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Yeah - it does really need some work over there.
I hope to spruce things up a bit over the next month or so.
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TragicLad
Posted: Feb 22 2002, 10:47 PM
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After another couple false starts, I think I may actually be on the right track with this one.





Still a bit more to do on this pic before I can move on to the next panel -- which is the real test of how well this story will flow. But I think the change in style and positioning of the camera will work better with the tale short story I plan to tell.
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Holly Jolly
Posted: Feb 22 2002, 11:00 PM
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Wow, that is a pretty big change.

The coloring is very good. It's like detailed pastels.
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LordZox
Posted: Feb 22 2002, 11:50 PM
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Both of the pictures look good. Not knowing what's coming next, I don't have any opinion on which "fits" the story better. They're both dynamic; it's obvious that she's getting on the bus, rather than just standing next to it.

In the second version, the girl looks much heavier/broader than in the first one. Perhaps this was intended as perspective--looking down at her from the top of the steps in the bus--but it doesn't quite come off that way.

Zox
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Tragic
Posted: Feb 23 2002, 12:13 AM
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both of the pictures?
looks around
huh?
i see one

ok, now i feel stupid
it opened the post half way down
and your second pic was at the top
so i thought...
anyway, they're both nice
i like the second one more
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TragicLad
Posted: Feb 28 2002, 10:30 PM
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Urg - a panel a week is hardly the output I was hoping to reach. And this weekend is completely eaten by family affairs...



Here's the final vers. of panel one and the following panel. Despite the weekend being tied up, I'm hoping by this time next week I'll be able to just give you all a link to the finished story rather than another panel to look at.






Your c&c's have been extremely helpful so far - please keep 'em coming. Largest problems I'm seeing, now that the two pics are together, are discrepencies in the colouring from one panel to the next and a bit of discrepency in the character herself... which I guess is due to me still trying to visually figure out who she is while I carry forth with my drawing.
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