[rescript Challenge] Hijack!, If it's gonna be hijacked anyway...

I totally disagree with everything everyone said. Ever. I have been summarising Proust for well over ten decades and I won't allow such wicked insults to go unchallenged.

The important facts are thus:

1. The USS Defiant (NX-74205) is exactly 120 metres long: no more, no less.

2. Dimensions in time DID NOT HAPPEN.

3. Darth Vader could kill me with a tray if he so wished.

4. Thou shalt remember that Guns, Bitches and Bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.

5. In a season finale, the correct answer to the question: "Can you tell us right now if you will be seeking a second term?" is to put one's hands in one's pockets, turn away and smile while Dire Straits plays over a thunderstorm.

5. If the question is asked at the beginning of the next season, the correct answer is: "Yeah. And I'm gonna win."

6. Possessed characters in TV shows are never possessed by a puppy, or some ducks.

7. Saying 'THIN!' cures you of monkeys on the knees.

Anyone who can identify every reference I just made is a better man than I am, Gunga Din.

Please stay tuned for the first broadcast of a piece of knotted string...

(Is that derailed enough?)

Moneyman, that was awesome! LOL!

"I will rescript you most painfully!"

"Gunga Din" is a Rudyard Kipling poem.

Song - "Thou Shalt Always Kill." I used to have the video favourited on YouTube, but it's been taken down. :(

I don't know the others, assuming there aren't any red herrings in there.

Among the actual rescripts, BigDemonicBunny's is my favourite so far (is getting on-topic in an intentionally derailed thread off-topic?).

EDIT: While I'm at it, here's a somewhat off-topic quicky, with apologies to the Rolling Stones.

Get On-topic!
To the tune of "Gimme Shelter"

Oh a mod is threat'ning my derailed thread today
If I don't get on-topic
Oh yeah, it's gettin' locked away

Spam, trollbait, it's just a post away, it's just a post away
Spam, trollbait, it's just a script away, it's just a script away

Oh see the flames ignitin' our hijacked threads today
Burns like a dinner party, muffins stoled away

Spam, trollbait, it's just a post away, it's just a post away
Spam, trollbait, it's just a crack away, it's just a crack away

Flames! Tempbans! They're just a click away, they're just a click away
Flames! Permbans, yeah! They're just a script away, they're just a script away
Flames! Permbans yeah! They're just a script away, they're just a script away, ye~ah

Mm, the n00bs is threat'ning my latest thread today
Get on, get on-topic or it's gettin' locked away

Spam, trollbait, it's just a post away, it's just a post away
It's just a click away, it's just a click away, it's just a click away

I tell yeh, l337, fanworks, it's just a sketch away, it's just a post away
It's just a filk away, it's just a post away
It's just a script away, post away, post away, post away

This post has been edited by Wavebird_Ocelot on May 2 2009, 10:36 PM

First off, this is a rather amusing idea for the rescript challenge thread.
So does posting on-topic derail the already derailed thread?

*sings along to Ocie's filk*
HuhWa? Oh ya, there where some other pretty good rescripts. Sorry, got distracted by the filk.

*would add something of her own if she could think of anything*

~shadowrider (derail? What derail? Oh nevermind. )

This post has been edited by shadowrider on May 2 2009, 11:51 PM

So... we need some serious rescripts to derail the derail rescript thread? Nah, so I have discovered the meaning of zen when related to the squared isoceles triangle of a newt. It involves adding a piece of cucumber to the melons of your forefathers before the thirteenth full moon of the summer equinox. Now if you fail to perform these acts at a quarter to twenty on the night aforementioned, you shall be plagued by the mongeese of a insane companion cube.

ALAS we are but pawns in the games of gods and my sheep have yet to roost upon the feet of your lilies. The king has yet to awake and the lords of the realm are seeking the downfall of the empire of diamonds. There is no carrot for the heroic because! "Every kiss" begins with E~"

Avatar13: 2) YOU ARE SO RIGHT! OMG it so never happened. How could it? That would just be weird. Only the Toymaker could cause that to happen and I Know he HATES EastEnders.

Which is a small LOL for me because my niece is in it at the moment.

and 3) Darth Vader could kill you without a tray if he so wished. Don't kid yourself. Trays are optional for Sith Lords.

This thread hurts the part of my brain that wants to be all logical. However, the other half says that thanks to third pan on the left under the Eiffel tower, Largo is actually really smart, and therefore was secretly on the Manhattan project with a German scientist whose delivery man's mother's uncle's sister's daughter's niece was related to Hitler.

(Do I call Godwin's law, or will someone else do it?)

Don, this thread is basically throwing logic out the window, LOL

thus (despite Tangent killing them) I give yall this

ya can either run from the cuteness, or embrace it (your choice)

The above is from the Jargon File, in case you wondered.

Hence, your attempt to end a derailed thread about derailing derails derails itself. (Does anyone know if I can sell short Amtrak stock, or are they not publicly traded? If not, I guess I could do the same with CSX and Norfolk Southern...)

I suppose it might also work if you found a different cartoon and rescripted it with a valid unaltered MT strip. I don't have any examples at the moment but I just know they are out there.

PULL!

*blows away thousands of falling catgirls with a fully automatic shotgun with ammo feed*

In the limit for large N quantum mechanics approaches classical physics.

At the same time, the chemistry of the constituent ingredients is almost entirely governed by quantum energy levels.

And Schrödinger's cat is on Miho's bookshelf keeping away the virtual mice.

You can stop trying to save the thread now moneyman. But on with the show we shall discuss the astrophysics of hamster farts now~

A quarter fart at the speed of light will result in the spacial distortion of cheeseits and lead to the inevitable destruction of your quazimoto. Now if you toll a bell around the old oak tree and sing a song of invisible pants this effect can be reversed and transformed into a source of ultimate destruction.

ummmm *scratches head*......... ya lost me on the hamster farts Grim

This post has been edited by Ravensbrook on May 4 2009, 01:50 PM

Used to attract the mice that Schrödinger's Cat hunts.

Schrödinger was certainly a different character in the Hellsing: Ultimate series

(so, is Schrödinger a male???, or a female???)

Dammit, I have one free Internet to give away but I can't decide on the most worthy recipient...

Whatever you do, oh person about to receive this great honor, do not press the red button. *Never* press the red button.

I dfinately heard you say "always press the red button"

Yes, I did.

*clears throat, and in favor of Dexter's Lab*
"OOOOOOO, what does this button do!!!!!"


(sorry I couldn't help myself)

this sounds like something in a thread i made... ohgawd.

and Brigid gets a win, LOL

This post has been edited by Ravensbrook on May 4 2009, 07:40 PM