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> Megatokyo Campfire Christmas, I am going to hell aren't I?
Grimblaze
Posted: Dec 22 2008, 06:37 PM
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You all know the chaos we cause by now, but I feel in a festive mood for once. So here we go.

It was midnight in Tokyo and all through the town,
not a creature was stirring, except for the clown.
Old nick was still jolly and gifting away,
when he started to stagger and then to sway.
Grimblaze was moving through the snow covered street,
when the jolly old fat man slipped off his feet.
A loud crash was heard and the rabbit investigated,
this is the start, and how it all is instigated.

That is the start and this is separate from the normal stories, in cliche style Grim has taken over the Yuletide mission even though he has no idea what people would actually want. Its up to you guys to either help him, wake santa, or stop Grim from ruining christmas through ignorance of common practical wishes.
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 22 2008, 08:59 PM
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I should be with Miho right now, Hatsu thought. But no, I just had to hit Santa's sleigh with a firebolt (honestly, I thought it was part of a signboard that had fallen off of a building), and I just had to take responsibility for Santa's hospitalization due to flashburns by volunteering for this gig! Hatsu flinched at the memory. That part-timer elf (she was too tall to be a real elf) with the harisen had 'persuaded' him to put on the suit, then go out and hand out presents.

Hatsu was lying on the ground, wearing his customized santa outfit. Hatsu was proud of it. Special insulation fibers for sub-zero temperatures, kevlar vest in case someone took a shot at him, bleached hemp beard that looked like a real one, and high quality gel padding that simulated realistic fat. It even jiggled when he laughed! Good thing my hair is mostly white already, and that it matches the beard. I hate hair dye. Hatsu had gone through all this trouble to look like the real santa, since he was only 19, and santa looked about 60 or so.

The problem, Hatsu had just discovered, was that the suit was just too heavy to move freely in. Hatsu had discovered this when he had landed the sleigh to deliver presents, and had slipped and fell on the ice. Hatsu didn't want to risk discovery, but that 'elf' had disappeared somewhere (I haven't seen her since I did that loop-de-loop in the sleigh) and now Hatsu needed to get up. "uh... Help...." Hatsu said tentatively.
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Ryo0955
Posted: Dec 22 2008, 09:35 PM
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He yawned. What was he doing here?

He checked his clock. Christmas? Wow.

He crept over to his tree. No presents yet. Better check what those are up to; I think there's going to be some strange madness going on

He went in again; he wore his regular clothing.

He happened to see someone who happened to look like that Kringle dude a distance away, and he looked like he had trouble getting up.

"Yo! Let me help you up, Santa!", he said as he semi-skated to his aid (while starting to notice that he looked like… Wait, is it him?).
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Grimblaze
Posted: Dec 22 2008, 09:50 PM
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Grim stood by Hatsu the fat man and hummed softly to himself as he polished his hammer for some reason. He looked down at Hatsu and smiled sweetly, "Now it was nice of you to take the job for old nick there but honestly you should have asked me. I always wanted to play this role, its time for equal rights, its time for a rabbitine santa." Lifting the hammer as Ryo called out to Hatsu Grim slammed it down knocking Hatsu out and pulled him into the alley to perform a quick outfit change. Donning his clothes and Santa hat, Grim hopped up the nearest fire escape and went to the sleigh to begin his new job. Looking around quickly for the wish list Grim found none and shrugged as he said to himself, "Oh well, I'll just ask the kids when I get to each house. Its not that much of a problem." Getting in the sleigh he slapped the reins and called out the names, "ON dasher, on dancer, on prancer, and kicker... on slasher, on grasper, on chopper and nixon!" The reindeer looked around confused before Grim yelled after them, "GET MOVING, I GOT PRESENTS TO DELIVER AND IF THEY DON'T GET DELIVERED I'M HAVING VENISON FOR CHRISTMAS SUPPER." The reindeer shot off after that, full speed.
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 09:21 AM
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Hatsu groaned and got up. "Ughhh..... what the hell?" Then Hatsu remembered the rabbit who had mugged him. The metal bracelet with a fire-colored gem on his left hand began to glow the color of a camp fire. "THE EASTER BUNNY?! I GOT MUGGED BY THE FRIGGIN EASTER BUNNY!!!!!!" The tattered remains of his costume were consumed as he literally caught on fire. The fire abated as Hatsu calmed down. Then he did a quick costume change, and was now dressed appropriately for the winter weather, and his bracelet had changed into a guantlet.

Running out of the alley, he spied Ryo. "I'm sorry I didn't get to your house yet, Ryo. I kinda... tripped. Can you use your Chaos Emeralds to teleport us into the sleigh? We need to get your present, and I need to stop the Easter Bunny from doing anything stupid, like giving out eggs."
"I'll... try..." said Ryo tentatively, as he pulled out some colored, glowing gems.
"Great!" Hatsu smiled.
"Chaos Control!!!!"
*zap*
Suddenly, our two heroes found themselves in the sleigh behind the rabbit. Hatsu reached into the sack that was next to them and gave Ryo his present. "Thank you for the ride" said Hatsu.

Now Hatsu leaned torwards the rabbit in the front seat. "Hello, Mr. Bunny. This ain't easter, but if you want to help, by all means do so without mugging anyone." Hatsu started emitting heat in his anger....
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mistersaxon
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 09:44 AM
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It is a little known fact that only the presence (pun intended) of the True Santa at the controls of the Sleigh can confer the invisibility and inter-dimensional travel that is typically used to complete the Christmas Delivery. Without The Santa, the reindeer fly in normal space at a speed of around 450 knots.

This is why the TPCD near-space watch room has been on amber alert for the past 45 seconds and, more to the point, why they are currently deploying a number of Strike Witches to investigate this unusual flying visitor. Their orders are to intercept and "quiesce". They interpret this liberally as teenage magical girls with rockets and very big guns are prone to do.

ETA on target: 30 seconds.

[Enjoy!]
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Grimblaze
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 10:50 AM
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Grim turned to look at Hatsu confused, "Easter bunny? I will have you know sir that I am not my third cousin twenty times removed!" After he finished the statement he turned around to look forward and sighed, "Duck." Hatsu seemed confused for a second before a strike witch slammed into him taking him from the sleigh leaving Grim and Ryo. "So kid, enjoy your present and welcome to the Grim santa legion, you are being drafted. Your first mission is to deal with all of those magical girls behind us while I prepare the time-rift spells."
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:03 PM
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Thankfully, there were safety harnesses to keep from people from falling out of the sleigh. Hatsu's foot had accidentally been caught on one of them. With some effort and ankletwist-resistant boots, Hatsu climbed back up into the sleigh, and sat down next to Ryo. This time he secured the harness, which looked like a climbing harness, around his waist, while Ryo followed his example. "I'll be damned if I let you screw this up!!!" Hatsu said to the rabbit. The rabbit seemed to be doing something magical, so Hatsu grabbed the reins of the sleigh, and started putting the sleigh into some basic evasive manuevers to keep them from getting killed by the teenagers on broomsticks.
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Tech Knight
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:11 PM
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The Broomsticks then exploded.

"HYOOOHHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"

A villainous looking santa with sharish teeth and black eyes and charred scrawny form with claws appeared, riding a sleigh of half rotted corpse-deer.
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Chriswriter90
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:19 PM
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"HOO HOO HOO"

The evil Zombie-Santa was blown to pieces as a red sleigh sored overhead.

Combat rifles rained down from the sky as a heavily armed college student waked down the suburban street.

"Come on everybody, we need to help save Christmas from zombies."
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Tech Knight
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:21 PM
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QUOTE (Chriswriter90 @ Dec 23 2008, 12:19 PM)
"HOO HOO HOO"

The evil Zombie-Santa was blown to pieces as a red sleigh sored overhead.

Combat rifles rained down from the sky as a heavily armed college student waked down the suburban street.

"Come on everybody, we need to help save Christmas from zombies."

BLeahhhhhhh...

A seemingly dead one grabbed his ankle and gave a good chewing.
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:21 PM
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"Let's save christmas from the guy next to me, too!" Hatsu thought as he drove the sleigh through the night...
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Tech Knight
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:23 PM
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QUOTE (HatsuharuZ @ Dec 23 2008, 12:21 PM)
"Let's save christmas from the guy next to me, too!" Hatsu thought as he drove the sleigh through the night...

And was under attack by yet anothr Santi Claws. spewing rething of acid from all mouths.

This post has been edited by Tech Knight on Dec 23 2008, 12:24 PM
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mistersaxon
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 12:51 PM
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In the TPCD NSWR the scanner-operator turned to his controller.
<Sir! Strike team one are de-planed and chuting to ground. They are reporting burns to their . . *ahem* . .> he dropped his eyes, cheeks reddening in embarrassment.
<. . and we have a second contact Sir with a rift energy-signature, closing on the first contact. Do we have any permitted incursions scheduled?>
The controller consulted a display in his arm-rest and groaned.
<We have a permitted zombie incursion scheduled for tonight. A very small one, oddly - not a rampage permit at all. It looks like some kind of tactical strike. Guess this might be it. What the hell are they up to?>
The controller thought for a few moments then enquired of the room in general:
<Did we get back that Rent-A-MothRa that American borrowed last month? It was in the shop for a refit?>
His 2-in-c responded crisply <Sir! Yes Sir! It is back on the grid awaiting rental.>
<Very good. Get it deployed and up there ASAP. I want us all over this - I have a BAD feeling.>
<Yes Sir! It's on its way!>


[@TechKnight: If you are going to blow stuff up you need to say how or the same thing will happen to you. This is all a bit "deus ex machina" as it is. 4/10 Could Do Better]
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Tech Knight
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 01:05 PM
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QUOTE (mistersaxon @ Dec 23 2008, 12:51 PM)
In the TPCD NSWR the scanner-operator turned to his controller.
<Sir! Strike team one are de-planed and chuting to ground. They are reporting burns to their . . *ahem* . .> he dropped his eyes, cheeks reddening in embarrassment.
<. . and we have a second contact Sir with a rift energy-signature, closing on the first contact. Do we have any permitted incursions scheduled?>
The controller consulted a display in his arm-rest and groaned.
<We have a permitted zombie incursion scheduled for tonight. A very small one, oddly - not a rampage permit at all. It looks like some kind of tactical strike. Guess this might be it. What the hell are they up to?>
The controller thought for a few moments then enquired of the room in general:
<Did we get back that Rent-A-MothRa that American borrowed last month? It was in the shop for a refit?>
His 2-in-c responded crisply <Sir! Yes Sir! It is back on the grid awaiting rental.>
<Very good. Get it deployed and up there ASAP. I want us all over this - I have a BAD feeling.>
<Yes Sir! It's on its way!>


[@TechKnight: If you are going to blow stuff up you need to say how or the same thing will happen to you. This is all a bit "deus ex machina" as it is. 4/10 Could Do Better]

O-O oro? are we playin this serious? I was just havin fun tryin to spout whatever came to mind but...
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 01:09 PM
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Hatsu, who is now in a Roy Mustang cosplay outfit, snaps his fingers twice and expelling flames from then; the first blast caused a crater where Tech Knight was standing, and the second set the Santi Claws sleigh on fire. "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!"

This post has been edited by HatsuharuZ on Dec 23 2008, 02:20 PM
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mistersaxon
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 04:28 PM
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QUOTE (Tech Knight @ Dec 23 2008, 07:05 PM)
O-O oro? are we playin this serious? I was just havin fun tryin to spout whatever came to mind but...

[In fairness it's a Christmas story about hijacking Santa's sleigh and Grimblaze kicked it off and he's pretty random but it seems to be going somewhere so maybe keep things a little more "in game" than just saying "it blew up and something random happened".

I see a zombie Santa blew up the Strike Witches but all at once? and with what? and why has he not killed the other sleigh? I like the zombie attack though - zombies could put Santa's sleigh to good use (or just eat the reindeer). I don't think we've seen the last of them even if they are all dead just now*.

And now MothRa is vectoring in they might fight or they might run.

*I mean "more dead" **

**or "less undead" ***

*** f***ing zombies!]
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Ryo0955
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 06:54 PM
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He facepalmed. "Can't we just get the sleigh back on track, now?"
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Grimblaze
Posted: Dec 23 2008, 10:28 PM
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Grim looked to Hatsu with uttewr disgust, "I am appaled sir that you would assume I am going to ruin christmas. TIME RIFT." The world around them slowed to a crawl as they continued on and Grim hummed silently as he stole the reins back, "Did you have the list on you because I couldn't find it in the sleigh so I was gonna ask the kiddies what they wanted at each house. How many dinosaurs can fit in these bags anyway?" Grim was still in control of the sleigh as he looked back at the bags and the reindeer swerved them out of the way of a passing Cargo plane on their own.

Meanwhile a long piece of paper lay hidden amongst a large selection of toppled trash cans and disturbed snow...
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mistersaxon
Posted: Dec 24 2008, 04:11 AM
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TPCD NSWR:

<Sir! We just lost all contacts! One, no two fireballs directed at the zombie trace and a nearby point of undetermined alignment. The original trace just sped up massively and we lost tracking lock.>

<OK, recall MothRa for now - but keep him hot in case they show up again. Let me know if anything else happens. Anything at all. My bad feeling is still up there. . .>

An air of expectant and alert silence fell over the room, uncharacteristic for a Christmas Eve. The commander reflected to himself <Ah well, we have that turtle under lock and key in the drunk tank, along with most of the NYPD choir, a few vagrants and that woman who called herself the "Queen of MegaTokyo". I really hope that's the end of it.>


[There's a song there if you want it]

This post has been edited by mistersaxon on Dec 24 2008, 04:32 AM
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 24 2008, 09:29 AM
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"The List!!!" Hatsu swiftly snatched the reins out of Grim's paws. "I'll drive, you'll probably crash us into something." Hatsu turned the sleigh around, and drove them back to where he had first been mugged by Grimblaze. "If we don't find that list.... er... bad things will happen!! Start searching for a really long piece of paper. It should be glowing a little.." Hatsu didn't want to have to explain that the part-time elf with the harisen would kill him if he screw up christmas, and that dropping The List, an irreplacable magical artifact that saved Santa the trouble of hooking up wiretaps and cameras all over the world, would constitute screwing up...
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Ryo0955
Posted: Dec 24 2008, 08:26 PM
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"You said it's glowing, so does it give off some sort of energy? I could help you out if it does."
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 24 2008, 09:13 PM
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"Correct. The List is a magical artifact that acts as a self-updating database for the naughty and the nice kids. I don't know how or when it was made, but I do know that it is irreplaceable. I believe I dropped it in this alleyway over here..." Hatsu pointed to the alley where Grimblaze had mugged him.

Walking over to the alley, Hatsu immediately spotted a shiny piece of paper on the ground. It was a scroll, and it was glimmering brightly in the gloom of the evening. Hatsu went over, and knelt down to pick it up. Suddenly, a pair of yellow eyes opened, and the *swish* of wind was all the warning he had when a three foot long harisen slammed him face-first into the ground. "Screw-up! Idiot! Baka! Moron! #%$^$!" Each word was punctuated by a slap of the harisen. A 14-year old girl, dressed cutely in a red and green elf outfit, who looked alot like Brigid, except for the yellow eyes came into view. "I knew you'd show up sooner or later! Baka!"
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Teddy-Werebear
Posted: Dec 24 2008, 09:54 PM
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Strolling through the Megatokyo streets in search of good cheer
Teddy-Werebear greeted the most rude stares with a trademark sneer

With a rumble in his belly, and a mind full of mirth
He strode in search of a meal on the eve of Christ's birth

His twitching nose caught a fair scent
Of roasting meats and something smelling of mint

Following the invisible trail in the air
He crept close to the window of a house with great care

Looking in on the dining room with his nose against the glass
Teddy saw the Sonoda family gathered around a table set with great class

A squeeze of his hungry belly and a last look on the happy scene
Teddy continued on into the night because disturbing them would have been mean

Next he found a resaurant displaying many the kanji ad
And out walked Junko on the arm of some old possibly lecherous cad

The site of the bear
Made him run... losing his fake hair

Exasperatedly looking up at T-Wb, Junko gave a miffed stomp and sqeal
Turning on her high heel she stalked off after the salaryman who payed for the meal

A bit bemussed now, Teddy walked on in the night
Till a cardboard clicked and beepped into action in my plain sight

It was guarding the entrance to the Megagamers store
From inside could be heard music, laughter, conversation, and more

Teddy wanted to join the party that must be in full swing
But the ph34rb0t's weapons tracking system was begining to lock and ping

Taking the hint, he made a hastey escape
Stopping near a blasted area marked off with TPCD warning tape

This place made him smile as a new thought formed in his head
Of a fitting tribute for the most recently dead

His hunger now forgoten Teddy sped through alley and street
Gathering what he needed, he really beat feet

Arriving at his destination, he found an unlocked back door
In he went as he giggled, snickered, and giggled some more

He found the former layer of that foul Miho, which was his goal
Wasting no time he emptied her drawers and with grin... he stuffed all her stockings full of coal

Standing in the door frame to admire the prank he had just played
Teddy laughed like it was the funniest joke this week he had made

And as the chuckling werebear left the CoE drifting out of sight
He exclaimed "A HAPPY HANUUCHRISTMAKWANZAA TO ALL... AND I AM CALLING IT A NIGHT!"

This post has been edited by Teddy-Werebear on Dec 25 2008, 02:13 AM
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HatsuharuZ
Posted: Dec 25 2008, 12:05 PM
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Hatsu dodged the last *slap* of the harisen by rolling out of the way. "K-Katarn-chan? *Tch* isn't it a little late for you to be out of bed? Don't make me call your parents!" The teenager just smirked at this. "Go ahead and do it. Just don't forget to tell them about how you almost roasted Santa!" "Ugh... fine. Just remember that I won't be able to drive if you give me a concussion with that thing." Hatsu proceeded to roll up The List and walk away. Then Katarn-chan grabbed his wrist to get his attention. "Hey! Don't ignore me! I'm coming with you to make sure you don't screw up! If you do...." Hatsu interrupted her: "I know! We'll both get put on the permanent naughty list!"
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