[refilk] Beat by Desperation, (after REM's "Losing my Religion")

[Editorial notes: C-kun' did this already, from Piro's POV. This one's from (an out-of-character) Largo's, during these events. Prompted by Garran.]

More is better
it's better for you
and you'll be l33ter
the servers we will go to...
The hope within me dies
you know, I've meant it all
I meant so well...

[chorus]
That's me at the table
that's me with the ice cubes
beat by desperation
Trying to help you with life
though I don't know if you can live one
don't die, you've hurt so much
I haven't said a word
I don't know why you're not laughing
I know that you used to sing
I used to think that you would try
[/chorus]

Every quitter
in every single city runs
choosing their confusion
trying to keep an ounce of pride
like a love -lorn and -blinded fool
don't run, you've hurt enough
I'll let you rest

consider this
consider this
the help of a paladin
consider this
a tip to bring me
back again, someday:
"Your game's rules, your fantasies:
"but, they don't require
me to play. At all."
I don't know why you're not trying
I know that you used to cry
I used to think that you would try

But love's not just a game
love's just not a game

[repeat chorus]

But love's not just a game
try, try, try, and try
'cause love's just not a game
not a game, not a game, not a game, please...

- _Quinn

Me likey! Helps that I'm an REM fan, too.

Nicely paced, easy to have the lyrics follow along with the music in my head, and very poignant and insightful to boot.

I suppose it is out of character for Largo to be that sensitive, but really, he couldn't be even if he was, if for no other reason that he wasn't privy to all the stuff Piro (and thus we the readers) learned about Erika from Kimiko.

And I'm being critical when I don't really mean to be. *sigh*

I really like it. Thanks for sharing!

This post has been edited by alex16384 on Aug 9 2005, 01:43 AM

Very nicely done. I like it a lot.

REM is one of those groups I like about 1/10th of the time, but I do like this filk. Then again it is Quinn...I've been told to expect great things from him as a matter of course...

Nekura

Nice filk, are u going to do "Shining happy people" too?

This is nice. I really like the slight change from "I don't know why you're not laughing / I know that you used to sing" in the chorus to "I don't know why you're not trying / I know that you used to cry" later on in the filk. I just love the confusion and hint of desperation in those latter two lines. He just doesn't understand at all, though he's trying to, and that one section expresses that very well.

As was stated earlier in the thread (and was admitted by you), I'm not sure how in character this is, though. However, I still like it, though I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's my LargoxErika fan bias. I'm willing to accept this as some sort of "otherword", alternate reality, "could be" filk, though.

Also, am I just an idiot, or did you repeat "not a game" one too many times at the end?

I don't know the original lyrics very well (though I've heard the song several times), but according to C-kun's transcript three times is the correct amount, meaning that _Quinn has one too many. However, C-kun also had an elipses (...), so it may be repeated more.

It's a stretch, but I'd say that it's still in the range of the believable. Either way, the filk was plenty good enough to ignore any canon issues.

Woah, it's like the first time in awhile that somone filked a song I actually knew.

This is great, I could hear the edited words in my head and they fit perfectly with the song.

Gret job!

Yeah, I did write one too many "not a dream"s. :/ I counted three on the line, not three including the one from the previous line. I'm glad people liked/enjoyed it.

What I was aiming for, in terms of being out-of-character, was plausible insight. I don't think Largo can be reflective enough to write or think like this, but I think that if he were, he would sound (something) like this. I hope this (necessary) introversion is what's throwing off my depiction of Largo, rather than anything else.

Anyway, one thing I'm proud of is identifying something that isn't a game to Largo*. (Aside from his sense of honor or justice or, perhaps, compassion.) Saying that "love's just not a game" contrasts really nicely with the ren'ai gamer Piro and I think helps explain some of why he reacts the way he does to Erika's proposal: he recognizes it as a ploy, and ploys aren't something that have a place in certain things (like love, or compassion) for Largo. Another part is that he takes offense at Erika's assumption that he's only in it for her body ("I've meant it all/I've meant so well") -- I think there's something more to his solicitousness than the kind of generic "you must be l33ter" motivation at work when he's teaching. (Or simple lust, though given how Largo was acting up until, say, she beat him at console gaming, Erika's assumption isn't entirely unwarranted...)

Bleh. These are probably old thoughts.

- _Quinn

*: I really haven't been tracking the MDT, so this may not, in fact, be something to proud of. ;)