Filkmas 2004, It's that time of year again...

Well then, do please dechagrinate yourself. I'd be despairing of the quality of the forums if people couldn't do better than my early efforts at filking! And, as you say, most well-known songs have probably been done before - I was just amused that you'd filked with (almost) the same theme. They say "Great minds think alike; and fools seldom differ". I leave the interpretation of that as an exercise for the reader.

Class filkage, everyone. I look forward to the next installment(s).

EDIT: I forgot to point out, yes, the original is called "Mistletoe and Wine" by Cliff Richard. I remember it as being a nice Christmas tune, and was surprised to discover it came out in '91. You may have to scroll to see the lyrics.

This post has been edited by snark on Dec 5 2004, 04:19 PM

Here's more proof I'm really not good at this filking stuff. If you've seen my other works (which you probably haven't) you'll know I'm random and tend to take that whole poetic liscence thing a bit closer to butchering the language. Anyway, We Three Kings, two versions. First one's done, Piro version might come later if I can get anything; I'm a big closer to the Largo end of the spectrum I think. As far as a setting, some random MMORPG... NWN maybe?

(See note on first verse at end)

We two geeks of ‘Merica are
Seeking games; we traverse afar
Breaking arms and risking harms
Force feedback flies me far

Chorus:
O game of p0w4h, game of m1igh7
Game with graphics rendered right
B33r is fleeting, foes need beating
Let me play you through the night

Owned a n00b at level one
Used his cash to buy a big gun
Level climbing, must stop rhyming
Need to hurry along

Chorus

Now’s the time for the boss to die
I wield my sword, and damaging high
Like games o’ th’past, I kick his ass (I don't like that first part of it)
Whilst teammates all stand by

Chorus

Ph34r the times of impending doom
I sweep you aside, just as with a broom
My rank’s climbing, n00bs are trying
To get spots in my group

Chorus

Glorious now behold me arise
As my levels climb through the skies
Largo, Largo, Largo, Largo
Sounds mid-dead bosses’ cries

Chorus


I'd actually like it if someone did a proper version of something along these lines. If I can come up with something based off the limited bit of Piro's background I can connect with, I'll give it a go.

(Note on first verse: this will be for both versions. Referense here is to the stips "break your other arm for matching set?" and "She shot me!" (too lazy to get real titles))

This post has been edited by jackr on Dec 5 2004, 07:01 PM

These all look awesome! I have one in mind, too bad I don't know the name of the song that I want. The ending talks about the singer (female) forgetting cranberries and heading to the all night grocery and running into some other guy there and they both laugh. Anyone know it?

Continuing this rousing round of caroling:

Get A Life

Oh the idol inside's an eyeful,
But you fans are very frightful,
Do you have to cause so much strife?
Get A Life! Get A Life! Get A Life!

Could you possibly get more loony,
With your hairy-legged kigurumi?
This fanboy behavior's too rife,
Get A Life! Get A Life! Get A Life!

Just one warning to you I'll give:
You had better not try to swarm,
'Cuz I've found out where you all live,
And a ninja may do you harm!

While my efforts she tries rejecting,
This woman I'm protecting,
Though my words may cut like a knife,
Get A Life! Get A Life! Get A Life!

===========================================
Let It Snow
Lyrics by Sammy Cahn

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
And I've bought some corn for popping,
The lights are turned way down low,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

When we finally kiss goodnight,
How I'll hate going out in the storm!
But if you'll really hold me tight,
All the way home I'll be warm.

The fire is slowly dying,
And, my dear, we're still good-bying,
But as long as you love me so,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

Shoka - Magnificent. It doesn't quite sing, but it's damn good. Wow.

Arianna - A quick search for "all night grocery" lyrics on metacrawler.com reveals that the song you are after is called "Christmas Wrapping" by The Waitresses. Have fun with that.

-Wordsmith

Hopin' to kick-start some more filkage - this thread's been great.^^

The Autograph Song

MT panel at a local con,
Fans all packed in row-on-row,
Crowd control being handled by Dom,
And guys cross-dressed as Piroko.

Everybody knows some turkey will cause open war,
By asking for some Miho-porn,
A girl with a bat everybody calls Char,
Will make him wish he wasn't born.

They know that Piro's on his way;
He's got a lot of index cards he'll sign today,
And every MT fan will stand in line,
For a cartoon drawn by Fred to their design.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
Hoping you'll all show some smarts,
Although Fred will sign many times, many ways,
He won't sign bod-ee parts.

======================================================
The Christmas Song

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping on your nose,
Yuletide carols being sung by a choir,
And folks dressed up like Eskimos.

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe,
Help to make the season bright.
Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow,
Will find it hard to sleep tonight.

They know that Santa's on his way;
He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh.
And every mother's child is going to spy,
To see if reindeer really know how to fly.

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
A very Merry Christmas to you!

Wow. Almost forgot about this thread. Almost. Now I have an excuse and
sufficient time to lounge around the forums all day, so...
How many filks can I base off of Bad Seraphim? (See "Taunting Small Children
In the Park")
--------------------------
Ride Through The Park

Just hear those children giggling
Wiggling/wriggling too
They look so happy
It's a shame that they're so gullible, true...
In the park kids are crying
Balloons are dying, boo hoo...
But it's all worth it just to see
The startled expression of Boo

Shut them up, shut them up, shut them up
Oh no! That stupid Fippo
Killed something (But he's stuffed! She breeds such woe!)
Shut them up, shut them up, shut them up
Oh, man! Pop-gun in her hand
The other two chase without grace
As they tail her 'cross the land

Well, Boo is nice and fuzzy
Not too smart, was he? To be
Trying to take out enemies
No remedies here, see?
Well she got here early
But she's not in a hurry; are you?
No good can come out of this
Crazy entrance and rendezvous

There must have been some sort
Of a celebration here
Until Sister showed up
And began instilling such fear
As she goes through the air
Attracting stares from children and from cops
Floating with a toy gun as she
Makes balloons pop. pop! pop! pop!

It's a feeling that
Asmodeus just can't describe
Maybe Seraphim
Large amounts of liquor did imbibe
Is it real or is it a delusion?
Well, he may never know
These horrified looks are the looks
He'll remember until she goes


Just hear those children giggling
Wiggling/wriggling too
They look so happy
It's a shame that they're so gullible, true...
In the park kids are crying
Balloons are dying, boo hoo...
But it's all worth it just to see
The startled expression of Boo

It's all worth it to see the startled expression of Boo...
-------------
I have a feeling people were avoiding that for a reason. Ah, well. Quality
be damned, it's Christmas, eh? And yes, I know I shouldn't have called Asmodeus "Azzy."
Shoka has unleashed such a bizarre filk that I feel the need to toast it.
[copies filk to floppy diskette, lightly burns floppy] Just kidding.

A thank you and greetings to every contributor,
-Wordsmith
"What have you done to 'Sleigh Ride'?"

Wow. These are really, really good. I hope this is good as the others...

Rent-a-Zilla is Ravaging the Town

You gotta watch out
You better run away
Better start praying
And I'll tell you why:
Rent-a-Zilla is ravaging the town

It's destroying buildings
left and right
Doesn't really care if you're in them or not
Rent-a-Zilla is ravaging the town

It sees the tanks and copters
It knows when to run away
It doesn't see you beneath him
So run away for Piro's sake!

O! You gotta watch out!
You better run away
Better start praying
And I'll tell you why:
Rent-a-Zilla is ravaging the town
Rent-a-Zilla is ravaging the town


Santa Claus is Coming to Town

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town

He's making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice
Santa Claus is coming to town

He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!

O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Santa Claus is coming to town
Santa Claus is coming to town

Bizarre? My filk? Hooooooooooo-kay, let’s review:

So far we got gassy ‘zillas, spiny bats and slivovitz, little gunner boys and grinchy assassins, rhyming stick figures, forum behavior reviews, vats of slime, and...well...is there any need to go on? Among such a throng of pots and kettles, what can I do but just fade into the background?

Folks, this is the third year in a row that forum filks have hit the Christams carol fan (so t’speak), and they just keep gettin’ better and better!

Thanks for the help finding the lyrics. Whatever my original idea was, I no longer know. My muse erased it and replaced it with this. Hope you enjoy (and if you don't, blame Wordsmith for finding me the lyrics ^^)

Christmas Madcap

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite city
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, manga store,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '04 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas with Gorion this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't believe that he'd be free,
I tried, I wanted to keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the arcade, could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Shyness in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I'm bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party Lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Some guy called, Halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
Contract bounty offer, so he didn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
With the family, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

Fred has provided me
With the world's largest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what he forgot?

So on with the boots, sad girl in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that ninja I've been chasing all year!

"Spending this one alone," he said.
"Need break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"

Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very fangirl ending! "

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!


Christmas Wrapping
The Waitresses

"Bah, humbug!" No, that's too strong
'Cause it is my favorite holiday
But all this year's been a busy blur
Don't think I have the energy

To add to my already mad rush
Just 'cause it's 'tis the season.
The perfect gift for me would be
Completions and connections left from

Last year, ski shop,
Encounter, most interesting.
Had his number but never the time
Most of '81 passed along those lines.

So deck those halls, trim those trees
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer,
I just need to catch my breath,
Christmas by myself this year.

Calendar picture, frozen landscape,
Chilled this room for twenty-four days,
Evergreens, sparkling snow
Get this winter over with!

Flashback to springtime, saw him again,
Would've been good to go for lunch,
Couldn't agree when we were both free,
We tried, we said we'd keep in touch.

Didn't, of course, 'til summertime,
Out to the beach to his boat could I join him?
No, this time it was me,
Sunburn in the third degree.

Now the calendar's just one page
And, of course, I am excited
Tonight's the night, but I've set my mind
Not to do too much about it.

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
But I think I'll miss this one this year.

Hardly dashing through the snow
Cause I bundled up too tight
Last minute have-to-do's
A few cards a few calls
'Cause it's r-s-v-p
No thanks, no party lights
It's Christmas Eve, gonna relax
Turned down all of my invites.

Last fall I had a night to myself,
Same guy called, halloween party,
Waited all night for him to show,
This time his car wouldn't go,

Forget it, it's cold, it's getting late,
Trudge on home to celebrate
In a quiet way, unwind
Doing Christmas right this time.

A&P has provided me
With the world's smallest turkey
Already in the oven, nice and hot
Oh damn! Guess what I forgot?

So on with the boots, back out in the snow
To the only all-night grocery,
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
In the line is that guy I've been chasing all year!

"I'm spending this one alone," he said.
"Need a break; this year's been crazy."
I said, "Me too, but why are you?
You mean you forgot cranberries too?"
Then suddenly we laughed and laughed
Caught on to what was happening
That Christmas magic's brought this tale
To a very happy ending! "

Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas!
Couldn't miss this one this year!

I think what Shoka meant to sing was:

On the twelfth day of Filkmas,
my phorums gave to me:

twelve gassy 'zillas
eleven vats of 'vitz
ten bats all spiny
nine readers laughing
eight fans out filking
seven boys a-gunning
six killers grinchy
five singing Pings*;
four vats of slime,
three old hands**
two gossip posts
and a stick figure's lines in rhyme.

- _Quinn

* Oh, don't we wish?
** Reader discretion is advised in determining which of the posters here are the old hands. :)

I came up with this last night when the carolers came by my apartment. I know, I know, Christmas is over, shut Word up before he drives us all insane, etc. etc.
Hush.
---------------------
Do j00 see what I see?

Said the gamer to the ninja man
Do j00 see what I see
On that rooftop there, ninja man?
Do j00 see what I see
A gun, a gun, glimmering so bright
Firing it plunges us into night
Though the plasma is ever so bright

Said the ninja man to the robot toy
Do j00 hear what I hear?
Whistling through the sky, robot toy?
Do j00 hear what I hear?
A drunk, a drunk, hurtling through space
'cause he went and breathed on your face
'Cause he went and breathed on your face

Said the robot toy to the manga-ka
Do you know what I know?
'bout the goings on, near and far
Do you know what I know?
Suff'ring, and pain, above and below
Why must people suffer such woe?
Why can friend not embrace his foe?

Said the manga-ka to the loyal fans
Read ye here what I say
Be ye chile, hamster or grown man
Read ye here what I say
Spread peace and joy all throughout your world
Do not pop the balloons of a girl
Instead let this wisdom unfurl
----------------------
I took some poetic license there. Hope you enjoyed it anyway.
And yes, I admit there have been more bizarre filks than Shoka's (often mine), but Christmas is about tolerance and praising originality...
Or do I have it wrong?
-word
"3:07 AM, Boxing Day"