Cute 'bot So Fine

The narrator, clad in dirty clothes, sits on his bed amidst his buxom posters and his manga and his half-empty bowls of instant ramen; he can see Ping-chan picking them up and dumping them out in the sink and stacking the empty containers, because the garbage is sorted in Japan, and not looking at the walls, because she just doesn't see stuff like that; and he chews on the cap of his pen and Ping looks over at him once in a while, because he told her not to bug him while he's writing, but...

... his clothes are old and dirty and so's his bed, and there's only so clean you can get a room when the two biggest things in it smell so bad and you can't run the vacuum cleaner because your user insists on singing karaoke to himself, especially when he's making up the lyrics; and you fall into infinite loops whenever you try to come up with a way to ask him to take those posters down, because they're just a little bit scary; but he really likes Princess Maker, and the CD he plays in the background and, you think, sings about you, has some very nice guitar work in it (or so your p4k files tell you), and it's nice that he thinks your eyes look like the sky; but you can't really clean up the manga, and you think that your user needs more shelves, and you kneel next to his DSL router and plug in and go looking for deals on shelves and ramen and soap and public baths (you downloaded that p4k 12 minutes after you met your user), and sigh, inside, when he stands up and says "Listen to this -- I think you'll like it.

"You've got a file, and it seems to be
memories of me tenderly
when every game
was as l33t as this Largo guy.
Now and then when we save our place
you disconnect with that special grace
and if I stared too long
I'd probably short out your wai

"cute 'bot so fine
l33t toy of mine

"You've got eyes from the land of Ys*
and if you thought of Rayne**
I'd hate to look on through your source
and see a bit from Payne***.
Your hair reminds me of a plus-five mace
with which undead I'd smite
and pray for the living
and the l33t
to quietly pass me by.

"cute 'bot so fine
l33t toy of mine


"What do we play,
what do we play now?
What should we play,
l33t toy of mine?"


And you disconnect, and he starts to stare.

- _Quinn

*: pronounced as the plural, like "wise." A game I've never played.
**: Blood Rayne, another game I've never played.
***: Intended to be the character from FFX-2, a game which I _should_ play; also works as Max Payne, but in a slightly different way.

(Opening line of the prose thanks to Garran; filk of Guns 'n' Roses "Sweet Child of Mine.")

This post has been edited by Quinn on Mar 12 2004, 02:49 AM

"You are a zany, zany man," I said with admiration.

This post has been edited by Garran on Mar 12 2004, 02:50 AM

You have a particular talent for vignettes, sir!

Oooo..._Quinn combines a Rampant Speculation™ with a filk. I am overcome with the l33tn3ss of it all.^^


(Note: Rampant Speculation™ is a registered trademark of the _Quinn Corporation. All rights deserved.)

I am cut, sir, cut to the quick of my dark otaku heart, cut with the deepest of conviction! I'll change my sheets immediately.

What a horribly, wonderfully wrong filk. An' the guitar is good, too.

Brilliant, and touching, and I'll have to come back to read it again soon.

*bump* Scary fanboys.. can be a might bit obsessive.

*curls up and wibbles*

Aye, Code, aye. But ye cannae let th' poets scare ye, lad. They meant ye no harm. Their lives be o entertainin' and pleasin' crowds, y'see, and sometimes it's all ye can do t'sit back and enjoy 'em.


And _Quinn, another masterpiece I see from ye, my friend. 'Tis good t'know ye've still the touch o magic in yer pen. We've missed it.

This post has been edited by Nightwalker AK on Mar 12 2004, 11:06 PM

Indeed, we have. Another perfect masterpiece to match with your legacy! Very well done... I should add this to my own personal collection. You mind?

No, of course not. It was written to be enjoyed and treasured. :-)

- _Quinn

Quinn, very nice...

You most certainly are on a roll today. First Erika, now Ping. You keep this up and I'm gonna become your #1 fan boy. I like how you para phrased the openning naration.

keep up the good work

A division of Sony, Inc.

The _Quinn Corporation is actually a subsidiary of Erika Multinational; in fact, the oldest non-Japanese branch of the company. Originally spun off from the Leaf Group, the _Quinn Corporation was purchased for one dollar "and other considerations" from his estate by the Kimiko Army, and later transferred to Erika Multinational in a multilateral deal with the Church of Miho LLC, the details of which remain unclear to the present day.

All seven of the accountants investigating how the Kimiko Army purchased the company from the estate of a man not yet dead have vanished during freak blizzards.

Do not taunt the happy fun lawyer.

Do not expose this post to sunlight.

- _Quinn