Ed, Erika (verse): "A Certain Something" (Dorothy Parker parody), Ed, Erika (verse): "A Certain Something" (Dorothy Parker parody)

[smurd]

Inspired by that Trojan pony.

A Certain Something after "A Certain Lady"

Ed:
I sense a certain something in your stance --
The contemptuous curl upon your lips,
Your narrowed eyes within their icy glance,
And the aggressive angle of your hips:
It does not take a genius to see
That you regard me as despicable,
And from this establishment remove me
By any means you find applicable.
You'll see that I am not the sort of jerk
Whose custom you endure -- no, I'm a pro:
How wrong you'll be to make of me "short work,"
You'll never know.

Erika:
I sense a certain something in your mien --
The condescension in your compliments,
The restless, shifty glance that's all too keen
To probe the weaknesses of my defense:
"Another booth babe," I can hear you say,
"More jaded and more cynical than most,
Like all the rest, good only for display,
Of her appearance only can she boast."
If you continue being indiscreet,
How close you've come to meeting my big toe
And kissing concrete clear across the street,
You'll never know.

(Apologies to Dorothy Parker)

A Certain Lady

Oh, I can smile for you, and tilt my head,
And drink your rushing words with eager lips,
And paint my mouth for you a fragrant red,
And trace your brows with tutored finger-tips.
When you rehearse your list of loves to me,
Oh, I can laugh and marvel, rapturous-eyed.
And you laugh back, nor can you ever see
The thousand little deaths my heart has died.
And you believe, so well I know my part,
That I am gay as morning, light as snow,
And all the straining things within my heart
You'll never know.

Oh, I can laugh and listen, when we meet,
And you bring tales of fresh adventurings, --
Of ladies delicately indiscreet,
Of lingering hands, and gently whispered things.
And you are pleased with me, and strive anew
To sing me sagas of your late delights.
Thus do you want me -- marveling, gay, and true,
Nor do you see my staring eyes of nights.
And when, in search of novelty, you stray,
Oh, I can kiss you blithely as you go ....
And what goes on, my love, while you're away,
You'll never know.

[Quinn]

Bravo!

- _Quinn

[Shoka]

Erika verse. From smurd.

Kewl.

'nuff said.

[lucifereacention]

great stuff as usual, Smurd-sama

[joshlamont]

Oh, rock! ^^ You should do more of that!

[AncestralHamster]

A gift for you, smurd. @)-',-->--,'--->---

"Why is it no one sent me yet
One perfect limousine, do you suppose?
Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
One perfect rose."

Dorothy Parker --One Perfect Rose

[Caduceuskun]

XD

Oh, that's beautiful! Bravo, bravo! Bravissimo, even!

[Cryshalo]

The customary Smurd brilliance we've all come to know and love.

*raises a drink*

To smurd!

[Silent_Rogue]

Marvelous!

[FutureTense]

Fantastic. I must say that Erika is developing some . . . interesting relationships between our violent programming characters (Ed and Dom). I will be amused at how much they get their asses kicked. Wonderful word, Smurd, wonderful.

-Garth, the Seldom Lucid