[Filk] Open Mic Night, [Filk] Open Mic Night

[AncestralHamster]

In the few weeks since the Brew of Coffee[1] (the coffeehouse in the Bardic Circle Entertainment complex) had opened, Wednesday nights had proven to be a slow night. So the management had started an Open Mic night to stimulate business. Any of Megatokyo's poets or filkers could perform their material before a live audience. Singers were also welcomed. Word had gotten around, and since a number of the daytime regulars had an interest in such cultural pursuits, many of them joined the evening crowd. While waiting for the show to begin, they partook of the best pastries in town.[2]

On stage, the first act was setting up their instruments. It was a band formed by four of the evening regulars. Since they were employed by several of the major corporations, in a fit of silliness they had named themselves Sad Sararimen in Snow. A stool and microphone was set up for the lead singer, and then the keyboardist carried out the lead singer and placed him on the stool. It was the Ancestral Hamster, the Spokesrodent and PR Director for Erika Multinational. The Hamster performed a microphone check. The conversation started to die down, and the Hamster began to speak.

"Good evening! Welcome to Brew of Coffee's first Open Mic night, the first of what we hope will be many such nights. Sad Sararimen in Snow has the honor to open the show, and we'll be playing two of my own filks. The first is off of the Trogs' 'Wild Thing' and goes out to one of the many aspects of Ping-chan."

With that, the band started to play and the Hamster launched into ...

Wild Ping

Wild Ping
{After Wild Thing --Troggs}

(Refrain:)
Wild Ping
You do turtle flings
You knock Bagman Ed ... loopy
You are Wild Ping

Wild Ping, I... know you scare me
You don't have to prove it's true
Tossing buses, gives me a fright
I fear you

(Refrain)

Wild Ping, I... know you bruise me
You don't have to prove it's true
Tossing me, ruins my night
You bruise me

(Refrain)

Wild Ping

No more, no more, Wild Ping
Break it, break it, Wild Ping
(repeat)
-------

After the applause had died, the Hamster spoke again.

"Thank you, thank you very much. Our next number is a filk off of the Beach Boys' 'California Girls' and is about the Megatokyo girls in general." The Hamster paused, then continued. "Although the words ae my own, since none of the Megatokyo girls is of my species, the sentiments are not. I have learned of them by observation of some, shall we say, 'afflicted' human males." A ripple of quiet laughter went through the audience, and knowing glances and amused smiles were directed at some of the more notorious fanboys in the audience. "And now ..."

Megatokyo Girls
{After the Beach Boys' California Girls}

Strange Candy girls are fly
I really love the skin they bare
And the Sluggy girls have luscious curves
especially Oasis with her wild, wild hair.

The RPG World girls
The eyes they really do delight
And the Wandering Ones with what little they wear
They really do fanservice right

I wish they all could be Megatokyo
I wish they all could be Megatokyo
I wish they all could be Megatokyo Girls

Kimiko is the pixie
And Erika is the babe
I thrill to kitty ears on the Darkly Cute one
While Ping toys with her earblades

I surfed all round the world wide web
And I've viewed all kinds of girls
But I couldn't wait to click back to my homepage
Back to the L33t3st girls with an URL.*

I wish they all could be Megatokyo
I wish they all could be Megatokyo
I wish they all could be Megatokyo Girls

I wish they all could be Megatokyo
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be Megatokyo
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be Megatokyo
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)
I wish they all could be Megatokyo
(Girls, girls, girls yeah I dig the)

*URL is pronouced as "Earl" to rhyme with "girl"

---

[OOC] This is my level up, post #1000. I hope you've enjoyed it. As per tradition, I've tried to make it special. It has two of my filks, yes, but it also introduces Brew of Coffee as a RP setting. It would be nice if Open Mic night would become something of a RP/Filk metathread as filks or poets posted their IC performances in the coffeehouse, and those wishing to post compliments could do so as members of the audience. And there's room for socialization among the audience as well. So, welcome to the Brew of Coffee: there's room for everyone ... forum bards and RPers alike. Oh, do try the Raspberry torte, it's very good. Now, who's next on stage?

[1] The name is taken from this parody of the Juice of Sapho verse from Frank Herbert's Dune. I do not know the author's name.

It is by caffeine alone I set this mind in motion.
It is by brew of coffee that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shakes,
The shakes become a warning.
It is by caffeine alone I set this mind in motion.

[2] The OCSB has the city's best coffee, Anna Miller's has the best pie, and the Temple of Ping's Magical Cake has the best cake. My claim for Brew of Coffee having the best pastries is not challenging established canon.

[Quinn]

[ooc]w00t![/ooc]

- _Quinn

[smurd]

h yeah.

[Kitchan]

Hrm.

As Mahou is established IC in OLSAL, and her AUTHOR is the one doing the songfics..... well, I seem to have a bit of a problem.

But I'm sure I can find a way to work something out, if my presence is requested. ^.^

[stageninja]

(snaps fingers in appreciation)
Cool man, cool.

[sonicsuns42]

l337 idea, l337 one. I hope this open mic thing becomes a MT tradition.

[Darkness087]

I'd join in the mayhem, but
[1]My songs are still in the "writing" stage, and
[2]I doubt filks of KoRn, A Perfect Circle, and Linkin Park would be appropriate for a coffee shop. ^^;;;;

[Shoka]

[EarthStarFan]

The next person to the stage was small; she was a girl, and she looked rather young, although there was a certain indefinable quality about her features tonight. She had a calm composition which utterly belied the butterflies in her stomach.

You've done this . . .

She waved once at the crowd, told the band her song, and stood at the microphone. She closed her eyes as the familiar chords began.

The Fanboy War
apologies to Barry McGuire

The MT world, it is explodin'
Factions pissed with Draegos crowin'
They feel they have to fight 'til the blood is flowin'
"Hold on, let's cool down before guns we are totin',"
But even Anna Millers has violence goin'

But you tell me over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

Don't you understand, fanboy-wars cause flames
Don't know know that bad tensions won't go away
If the mods have to nuke, trouble will come our way
There'll be violence today
As more jump in the fray
Take a look there, at the hoard,
It's bound to scare the board

But you tell me over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

Has me so scared, feel like runnin' and hidin'
And you're just fighting 'cause your Idol, they're deridin'
I can't change your minds, the thoughts you're fabricatin'
When a handful of fools will start annihilatin'
Small intentions alone can't justify this baitin'
Can't be a peaceful board when a war is formulatin'
Impending doom is so frustratin'

But you tell me over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

Think of the disorder in other forums
Then take a look around here at all the warriors
And I'll stay home for some days of rest
But when I come back, it's the same old nest
The same old silly guys, no perment disgrace
We seem to be better, but with a brand-new pace
Some tensions are opened, but it's still a fun ol' place

And you tell me over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

---

Eve of Destruction
Barry McGuire

The eastern world it is exploding
Violence flaring and bullets loading
You're old enough to kill but not for voting
You don't believe in war but what's that gun you're toting
And even jordan river has bodies floating

But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
Ah you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction

My blood's is so mad it feels like coagulating
I'm sitting here just contemplating
I can't twist the truth it knows no regulation
And a handful of senators don't pass legislation
Busing alone can't bring segregation
When human respect is disintegrating
The whole fucking world is just too frustrating

But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
Ah you don't believe
We're on the eve of destruction

Well look at all the hate there is in alhambra
Then look around to selma alabama
You may leave here for four days in space
But when you come back it's the same old place
The pounding of the drums pride and disgrace
You can bury your dead but don't leave a trace
Hate your next door neighbour but don't forget to say grace

But you tell me
Over and over and over again my friend
Ah you don't believe
We're on the eve of destruction

[Kitchan]

Ever read the Anti-Fanboy-War song, ESF-chan? ^^;

[AncestralHamster]

General: Thank you, all of you.

Shoka: Thank you for the Doubtful Guest tribute pic! I don't think Brew of Coffee serves any herring, but perhaps a beef or chicken puff pastry might do? Souvaki perhaps?

Kitchan: If you'd like to participate, your character can simply sing or read poetry. Or even do karaoke if she likes.

Darkness087:

In reply to:

---

I'd join in the mayhem, but
[1]My songs are still in the "writing" stage, and
[2]I doubt filks of KoRn, A Perfect Circle, and Linkin Park would be appropriate for a coffee shop.

---

1. Yes, I know how that goes. Got a bunch of partial filks in my filks folder. Sometimes the words just flow, other times it's like pulling teeth.
2. Oh, don't worry about that. It's a Open Mic night. The management is not responsible for the content. You get material which is at odds with the usual ambiance of the place. So whenever you're ready.

EarthStarFan: Thank you for participating! And filking to Eve of Destruction as well! Kudos!

---

The manager stepped out on stage. "Let's have another round of applause for Nurse EarthStarFan!" *Waits for the applause to finish.* "Next up is ..."

[McFinnigan]

McFinnigan had been nursing a glass of water in the corner of the cafe. He gauged the mood of the crowd, and had a brief internal debate, then raised a hand and waved at the Hamster.

The manager saw this, and hesitated. McFinnigan was well-known on the club scene for being an absolute mood-murderer... but there didn't seem to be anyone else stepping up to the stage, and McFinnigan could at least sing well.

'I think McFinnigan has something to sing for us, ladies and gentlecreatures.' he said.

McFinnigan stood up from his table, and walked determinedly towards the stage. There was a whisper of comment as he did so; he was actually in something resembling real clothing ( tuxedo pants and an open-collared white formal shirt. Some of the more impressionable clientelle craned their necks to look out windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of a flying pig).

McFinnigan reached the microphone.

'It's been a long week, my friends.' He began. ' Too much to tell you without boring you, but as a side-effect, I have nothing new to sing for you. I do, however, have something upbeat.' (muffled, sarcastic cheering, and a couple of 'Yeah rights!' from the back ) 'No, really' said McFinnigan. He grinned, and cueued an accoustic guitar accompaniment as he began.

'This is an old piece of mine, for Erika-sama. Those of you who've survived the wars will remember the fleeting glimpses we get into her soul, and how closely we hold those to ourselves.'

McFinnigan nodded to Hamster-sama. 'I hope you enjoy this, old friend. Tell Iain he needs to get out more'. Then, McFinnigan took a breath, closed his eyes, and joined the accompanist.

( sung to the tune of 'I never saw blue like that before' )

Today we walked down memory lane,
we saw the person you tried to hide so far away.
Your secret self was shown the light,
your past laid bare from side to side
in plastic covers with your name.

And were you ever someone else?
You know you'll have to say.

And I never saw you like that before -
Emotive eyes, your mask now
torn like curtains from your soul away.

And no one else could ever show you how
to see the world the way you see it now.
But I, I never saw you like that -

It's hard to believe the changes you have made, the life you live
is far removed from glitt'ring fame,
and even now I'm so amased, it's like a dream.
You've changed so much from what you've been,
but some things are the way they are
and words just can't explain.

And I never saw you like that before -
Emotive eyes, your mask now
torn like curtains from your soul away

And I guess it's now
We'll truly see you
for who you really are.

And I never saw you like that before -
Emotive eyes, your mask now
torn like curtains from your soul away.


McFinnigan bowed, and swiftly made his way back to his table.

[aestavalis]

Respect to Ancestral Hamster for two excellent filks. And to earthstarfan for a great one too. I would now like to present my own humble offering. It's a bit of a gamers filk though along the lines of n00bthumper....
Based on a classic from Blur (the video involves a walking milk carton......)
Filk: Coffee & PC

Do you suck with a chainsaw?
Tactically flawed.
Slaughtered by the Heroes,
Bottom of the board.
You've all the guns but you're empty,
holding out your heart.
To those people who'll frag you,
if they find where you are.

chorus
So give me Coffee & PC
Ohhh N00bie.
I've seen this much and have to say;
you've got no abil-ity
Godliness you see
Is no effort for me.
I've laughed so much I'm goin to cry
and need to beat on ye.
so you can respawn again.

Do you play in this country?
You're really under par.
Theres people here who'll maim you,
cos of what you are.
Your ears are full of their language
There's l33t-ness here you're sure.
Better get with the program,
or they'll show you the door.

Chorus (x2)


Original
Blur: Coffee & TV

Do you feel like a chain-store
practically flored
One of many zeros
kicked around bored
Your ears are full, but you're empty
holding out your heart
to people who never really
care how you are

Chorus
So give me coffee and TV
Peacefully
I've seen so much, I'm going blind
And I'm brain-dead virtually
Sociability
is hard enough for me
take me away from this big bad world
and agree to marry me
so we can start over again.

Do you go to the country
it isn't very far
There's people there who'll hurt you
'cos of who you are
your ears are full of their language
there's wisdom there you're sure
'till the words start swirling/slurring
and you can't find the door

Chorus (x2)

I'm new to this so let me know what you think.
Aestavalis

[aestavalis]

Compliments too to McFinnigan, I forgot to refresh before I posted mine last night.

[Darkness087]

In reply to:

---

Yes, I know how that goes. Got a bunch of partial filks in my filks folder. Sometimes the words just flow, other times it's like pulling teeth.

---

Ugh, that's only half the problem. I don't have the complete lyrics of most of the songs I'd like to filk, so many of my filks are ground to a halt before I can even start. Could someone link a good lyric-finder site, plz?

[Caduceuskun]

www.google.com

Put the name of the song and the word lyrics in your search. It works every time.

[AncestralHamster]

aestavalis: Thank you both for the compliment and for participating.

As for feedback on your own filk. The most important test of a filk is: can it be sung? Since I'm not familar with the original tune, I can't test that part. However, it does seem to scan, and you have broken away from the original sufficiently. Looks good.

You might want to read other filks. It will give you an idea of what a filk consists of and give you ideas about how to go about filking. The following link goes to a filk website with links to traditional SciFi filks. What is Filk?

---

Darkness087:

In reply to:

---

I don't have the complete lyrics of most of the songs I'd like to filk, so many of my filks are ground to a halt before I can even start. Could someone link a good lyric-finder site, plz?

---

C-kun has suggested Google, while I usually use Alta Vista. However, if you'd like something more specific, try Music-Sites. It's a portal with several lyrics finders. I've gotten good results with the first two engines, but the rest have been hit or miss.

---

McF: The Hamster has one of his fellow band members carry him over to McF's table. "Mind if I join you?" McF waved a hand at a chair. The Hamster elected to sit on the table itself, being too small to make use of the chair.

"Nicely done filk, McF." said the Hamster. "Very appropos, especially in light of recent revelations about Hayasaka-sama. She still has quite a fan follwing, even after all this time. I do wish she'd let me tap into that fanbase: you can't buy that kind of PR, it has to arise naturally. However, she wants to keep her idoru days in the past, and so she refuses to allow me to harness the power of her fans. Ah, well."

"As for Iain, why don't we go fetch him? He's at the labs right now. We can sing Life is a Cabaret at him. The line 'What good is sitting alone in your room?' should get a rise out of him. What do you think?"

[L33T N1NJ4]

*Clears throat*

Say's into Mic, "An oldie' but still a goodie."

Church Down Yonder
With apologies to Men at work
(Origionally written to be sung by mostly by Largo. Miho sings in the first chorus/verse thing and t the end, Dom and Junpei join in.)

Travelling in a Ph34r-bot convey
On the trail behind shed-load of zombie
I met a strange lady she made me nervous
She gave a glance and the zombies left us
And she said,

"I come from the Church down Yonder
Where Zombies roam, kill and plunder
Coming near will be your greatest blunder
You better run, return to us never."

Laying dead after midnight tussle,
Zombie was, to say the least, kind of a hassle,
I said, "What’s the source of your power?
He just smiled and said “Miho Tohya.”
And I said,

"So you come from the Church down yonder?
Where deadies go to worship Tohya.
The 3vil one shall soon be plundered.
You zombie scum will first be ownzored.” *Bang Bang Bang*

Rounding up undead zombies
With a crosbow, Dom and Junpei
I said to my friends “Are you two ready?
‘cause in the church there’s zombie a-plenty?"
And they said,

Junpei: "Oh! When we attack the church down yonder,
The Zombie scum will surely falter.
When Junpei go with the l33t master,
They better run, they better take cover."

Dom: "We will take the church down yonder,
Blood will be spilled and zombies slaughtered.
With you and me and that damn ninja,
The zombie queen will live no longer.”


Men at work. Land Down Under.
Traveling in a fried-out combie
On a hippie trail, head full of zombie
I met a strange lady, she made me nervous
She took me in and gave me breakfast
And she said,

"Do you come from a land down under?
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Buying bread from a man in Brussels
He was six foot four and full of muscles
I said, "Do you speak-a my language?"
He just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich
And he said,

"I come from a land down under
Where beer does flow and men chunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

Lying in a den in Bombay
With a slack jaw, and not much to say
I said to the man, "Are you trying to tempt me
Because I come from the land of plenty?"
And he said,

"Oh! Do you come from a land down under? (oh yeah yeah)
Where women glow and men plunder?
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder?
You better run, you better take cover."

[Darkness087]

Nice one, LN. Even though packed with tons of over-obvious CoM slander, I still find it amusing and humorous.

As for the other filkers to whom I have yet to give props...I doubt you need them. The filks themselves are props enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got filking to do. (Thanks to AH and C-kun. Maybe now I'll be able to finish my A Perfect Circle filk. BTW, it's an Erika filk...just so you two fanboys know you did good. )

[AncestralHamster]

An oldie but goodie indeed, and one I remember well. Thumbs up!

---

Darkness87:

In reply to:

---

(Thanks to AH and C-kun. Maybe now I'll be able to finish my A Perfect Circle filk. BTW, it's an Erika filk...just so you two fanboys know you did good. )

---

Heh! You're welcome. Looking forward to it.

[Darkness087]

Well, here goes nothing...My first filk, dedicated to one Hayasaka Erika.
________________________________________________________________________________
_____

Coldly Emotionless
with apologies to A Perfect Circle

No emotion seeps out through her gaze so level
Cynicism drips from every word
Voice behind a rhythm better left at finally forgotten
Youth's naivete left behind long ago

Disillusioned forever
So coldly emotionless
To the world

Shatter one more forearm joint to force away a fanboy
Loves her, Hayasaka, only for her image

Disillusioned forever
So coldly emotionless
To the world

Craft the past-concealing lie
A broken bird can never fly
Now views the world through colder eyes
She cannot let them see her cry
Tries to live a normal life and have
At last her peace of mind
But new trouble just flew into Tokyo...

Disillusioned forever
So coldly emotionless
Disillusioned forever
So coldly emotionless
To the world

To the world...


Weak and Powerless
by A Perfect Circle

Tilling my own grave to keep me level
Jam another dragon down the hole
Digging to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary siren
One that pushes me along and leaves me so

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
Over you

Someone feed the monkey while I dig in search of China
White as Dracula as I approach the bottom

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
Over you

Pale angel go away
Come again some other day
The devil has my ear today
I'll never hear of what you say
Promised I would find a little solace
And some peace of mind
Whatever just as long as I don't feel so

Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
Desperate and Ravenous
I'm so weak and powerless
Over you

Over you...

[EarthStarFan]

Teacher Largo
Apologies to Bobby Day

1337-ly 1337-ly dee, 1337-ly 1337-ly dee,
1337-ly 1337-ly dee, 1337-ly 1337-ly dee,
1337-ly 1337-ly dee, 1337-ly 1337-ly dee,
1337, 1337, 1337-1337

He r0x0rs in the classroom all day long
Teachin' and a-preachin', takin' kids along
All the students in that classroom there
Love to see the Largo and G.D.[1] hair

Teacher Largo (teach, teach, teach!)
Go, go, Teacher Largo (teach, teach-a-dee!)
Go, Teacher Largo; we're really gonna teach 'em tonight

Every single student, every enrollee
Every person there in a classroom seat
Rapt attention, except Miho,
Grinning real big, shouting, "Go, Largo!"

Teacher Largo (teach, teach, teach!)
Go, go, Teacher Largo (teach, teach-a-dee!)
Go, Teacher Largo; we're really gonna teach 'em tonight

The pretty purple-hair goth at the high school, there
Made him run his tactics with far more care
They started playin' steady, and bless my soul
They outgamed the whole of MegaTokyo

Teacher Largo (teach, teach, teach!)
Go, go, Teacher Largo (teach, teach-a-dee!)
Go, Teacher Largo; we're really gonna teach 'em tonight

He rocks in the classroom all day long
Teachin' and a-preachin', takin' kids along
All the students in that classroom there
Love to see the Largo and G.D.[1] hair

Teacher Largo (teach, teach, teach!)
Go, go, Teacher Largo (teach, teach-a-dee!)
Go, Teacher Largo; we're really gonna teach 'em tonight


[1] Gravity Defying

---

Rockin' Robin

He rocks in the tree-top all a day long
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singin' the song
All the little birds on J-Bird St.
Love to hear the robin goin' tweet tweet tweet
[Chorus]

Rockin' robin (tweet tweet tweet)
Rockin' robin (tweet tweet tweet)
Oh rockin' robin well you really gonna rock tonight

Every little swallow, every chickadee
Every little bird in the tall oak tree
The wise old owl, the big black crow
Flapping them wings sayin' go bird go
[Chorus]

A wordy little raven at the bird's first dance
Taught him how to do the bop and it was grand
He started goin' steady and bless my soul
He out popped the buzzard and the oriole

He rocks in the tree-top all a day long
Hoppin' and a-boppin' and a-singin' the song
All the little birds on J-Bird St.
Love to hear the robin goin' tweet tweet tweet
[Chorus]

[AncestralHamster]

Darkness087: Pretty good start. Keep it up. And thank you for the Erika filk.

EarthStarFan: W00t! An oldie but goodie! Haven't heard that one in a whille!