[Filk] "Largo Smells", [Filk] "Largo Smells"

[AncestralHamster]

This is in response to Opt498's challenge in the [412] disscusion thread. I posted the first verse and chorus there last night and have since completed the filk. Some slight changes have been made to the chorus. This proved amazingly easy to filk, and fun as well. Thanks Opt498, for providing the challenge!

Please note that Kaj wrote the "Largo smells" line, Opt498, "Piro reeks as well", but the rest of the filked lyrics are mine.

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Largo Smells

{Chorus}
Kitty bells, Largo smells, Piro reeks as well.
"No offense, I thought you died, the funk is straight from hell."
Kitty bells, Largo smells, Piro reeks as well.
"No offense, I thought you died, the funk is straight from hell."

{Repeat Chorus}

VERSE:
Waking in the dawn, in a tiny Tokyo loft.
A Beowulf Cluster built, but not by Microsoft.
Ping-chan recharging, waking in a fright,
"Oh, Piro-san, I smell so bad, how can I set it right?"

{Chorus}
{Repeat Chorus}

VERSE:
Oh, just the other day, things were looking bright,
I'd wowed Miss Kimiko,
and kindled her delight.
Now in this tiny room,
I'm overwhelmed by gloom,
My robot girl needs a bath, and we don't know what to do!

{Chorus}
{Repeat Chorus}

VERSE:
There is a girl to ask,
but she'll break my head!
Ping can't download this task,
'Cause the Wall stops her dead.
Largo's no help at all,
I'm wondering what to do,
When knock, knock, knock, Miho's at the door with soap and shampoo!

{Chorus}
{Repeat Chorus}

---

Jingle Bells

CHORUS:
Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.
Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh.

Repeat Chorus

VERSE:
Dashing thro' the snow, in a one-horse open sleigh.
O'er the fields we go, laughing all the way.
Bells on bob-tails ring, making spirits bright,
what fun it is to ride and sing a sleighing song tonight.

Chorus
Repeat Chorus

VERSE:
A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated at my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
he got into and drifted back, and we, we've got upset

Chorus
Repeat Chorus

VERSE:
Now the ground is white,
Go it while you're young!
Take the girls tonight,
And sing this sleighing song.
Just get a bobtail'd bay,
Twoforty for his speed,
Then hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack! You'll take the lead.

Chorus
Repeat chorus

[Aisling]

Oh AH this was incredibly fun to sing along too. In fact, I couldn't help but sing as I read it. It flows amazingly well and is very lighthearted and fun, not to mention correlates well to recent strips in MT. Great filk AH, I think I will sing this one now instead of the original when December comes along.

[GwainT]

I'm disturbed beyond words. I love it.

[Caduceuskun]

He he. That was great, Hamster-san! Nice job. Reminds me of the old Mother Goose/Christmas song thread.

[Sati]

I'm generally in awe of people who do filks in the first place because I can't, but I'm especially impressed with your l33t sk1llz. Great job, AH.

~ Sati

[Opt498]

"Kitty bells..."
If this is the result, I've got to start posting crazy filk challenges more often.
Hamster-san, this is flat out awesome.

I can't wait to see what the UFL has to say about this.

[Gozer]

*Stops the choir singing.*

Ahh... it is so festive!

Bravo, we shall have to practice it some more.

[ph00tbag]

Normally I don't read filks, but I'm glad I clicked this link, AH. Very funny filk.

You get a laugh and a wai.

[Meagen]

In reply to:

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I can't wait to see what the UFL has to say about this.

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I have only one thing to say, and that is: Great job!

What, you thought I was going to take offense at a simple statement of fact? Far from it. Besides, Hamster-san is protected from me by virtue of being a cute animal, a fellow Erika fan and a poet. (ph34r the poets!)

Meagen

[Kaj]

Suteki, Prachtig, Wonderful, Tres Bien, Sehr Schön.

Nearly laughed my ass off.

[e-Monk]

[!filk] Oh, man, that's great. Cool job. Look at what you got me doing, though. You're right, Christmas songs are fun to filk, and I think White Christmas is a nice candidate [/!filk]

I'm smelling something so awful
That I don't really want to know
If it's Largo stinking
Or Ping's hair reeking
I hear cat bells in the door

I'm smelling something so awful
But I think this tunnel has a light
May our smells be fresher tonight
And may Miho lead us to that site


---
White Christmas

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Where the treetops glisten
And Children listen
To hear slay bells in the snow

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
With every Christmas card I write
May your days be merry and bright
And may all your Christmases be white

[Opt498]

I was actually expecting something more like a defense, Meagan-san, but in retrospect I can see how you too would like to see him bathe. My apologies.

Another nice filk. I seem to remember White Christmas being longer. Or was it always that short?

[Meagen]

Meh. I've been found out... Am I really that obvious? **

Great one, Monk. It seems this Christmas will be most smelly.

Meagen

[Integral]

[speculation-mode] And in the future, I see this thread filled with bath-related Christmas filks [/speculation-mode]

Funny stuff, you two. Maybe someone else will contribute to make my prediction come true. ^^

[Caduceuskun]

Bwa ha! Nice job, Monk! I'd contribute something, but I'm working on something else right now. Maybe later.

[AncestralHamster]

General: Thank you! I'm glad y'all enjoyed my filk!

e-Monk: Funny! At least I was able to sing it all the way through before bursting into laughter!

Meagen: "Besides, Hamster-san is protected from me by virtue of being a cute animal, a fellow Erika fan and a poet." *The Hamster bows.* "Thank you, Meagen-sama. What pleases me most about your statement is how you hold to the Celtic tradition of holding bards sacrosanct. It's good to know a few people still honor that tradition."

Opt498: Same here. I always thought of 'Jingle Bells' as a short song and 'White Christmas' as a long one. Filking these carols has been a revelation.

Integral:

In reply to:

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And in the future, I see this thread filled with bath-related Christmas filks. <snip>

Maybe someone else will contribute to make my prediction come true.

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[Barry White] Anything for a lady. [/Barry White] *Wrily* Besides, when I read your post, your avatar with the big bewitching green eyes was displayed, and I (the man behind the nick, not the Hamster) can't say no to those eyes.

{Ooh, an Erika fanboy who finds green eyes compelling ... Big surprise there! }

And so, by Integral's request ... "Oh Smelly Ones!"

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Oh Smelly Ones
{After Oh, Christmas Tree}

Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How nauseous is your stench!
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How nauseous is your stench!
You haven't bathed in many weeks,
And now your bodies do doth reek.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How nauseous is your stench!

Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How can I get my hair clean?
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How can I get my hair clean?
You might enjoy being clothed in grime,
but I dislike being soaked in slime.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
How can I get my hair clean?

Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
To the bathhouse, follow me.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
To the bathhouse, follow me.
Originally, I came for Ping,
but you both need a dunking.
Oh, Smelly Ones, Oh, Smelly Ones,
To the bathhouse, follow me.

---

Oh, Christmas Tree!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
How steadfast are your branches!
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
How steadfast are your branches!
Your boughs are green in summer's clime
And through the snows of wintertime.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
How steadfast are your branches!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
What happiness befalls me?
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
What happiness befalls me?
When oft at joyous Christmastime
Your form inspires my song and rhyme.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
What happiness befalls me ?

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
Your boughs can teach a lesson.
That constant faith and hope sublime
Lend strength and comfort through all time.
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree,
Your boughs can teach a lesson

[Opt498]

So... I was humming the tune to read at a proper tempo, and I suddenly got the idea that this song should be sung the Temple of the Unwashed Fanboy.

It leads me to believe that, despite the awe inspiring and gut-busting funny filks all three of these have proved to be, we should start saving our Xmas songs for when they actually start getting clean.

You still rock, Hamster.

[EarthStarFan]

God Rest Ye Very Smelly Ones
(To "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")

God rest ye, very smelly ones,
May nothing you dismay!
Remember Miho-san will come
To bath us all today
And save us all from odor's pow'r
Though our souls we may pay
Oh, blessings of shampoo and soap,
Shampoo and soap,
Oh, blessings of shampoo and soap!

-------------------

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

God rest ye, merry gentlemen!
May nothing you dismay;
Remember Christ, our savior,
Was born on Christmas day!
He saved us all from Satan's pow'r
When we had gone astray
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy,
Oh, tidings of comfort and joy!

[Integral]

*rolls over with laughter*

Splendid work, Hamster-san! EarthStarFan-san! I was actually thinking of attempting a Christmas filk myself, but tonight's strip kind of dampened that mood... but no matter, because you two have risen to the occassion. ^^

[AncestralHamster]

Ah, EarthStarFan, I see you too have found your voice. Glad to see it, and hope to see more filks from you in the future. "Oh, blessings of shampoo and soap" is very funny line!

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Thanks, Integral-san, Opt-san!

BTW Opt, I don't think you need worry about us running out of carols. We can reuse songs for different subjects. Indeed, C-kun and I were discussing the possibility of starting a new MT carol thread come December. Now the old one has many of the carols filked already. However, there will be plenty of new story material for us to work with by then, so old carols will be recycled into new filks.

[EarthStarFan]

Thank you. I do hope a filk strikes me in the future--they are fun. ^^