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fredart studios - the process behind the madness


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> Thread Of Wisdom
Wavebird_Ocelot
Posted: Aug 9 2011, 07:29 PM
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I looked out over the Story Forum, that desolate board, bored and desolate for lack of comics, and beheld no threads would grow there. I thought to cultivate this board with verse, with threads flowing with filk and funny. I looked again over the August forum, and said, 'Alas, and wae is mee O! Spammer of spammers, and all threads are trollbait and a vexation of admins. What hath a fan more of all the colour that he CG into the strip? One thread droppeth down the page and another thread riseth, but the home page abideth forever.'

I looked at what I had written above, and saw that it too is but trollbait and a vexation of admins. So, to stay on a topic proper to this board, and fall not into spam, I journeyed to Edo, that Mega city, and asked of the officer they call Sonoda, to ask whether the sun had set upon our forum.

'Thou speakest rightly,' he said to me, 'that all is trollbait and a vexation of admins. Yet concerning whether the appointed time for thy forum hath come, consider carefully these things I have observed when I looked out over Edo, this Mega city.

'There is a timetable for all disasters, and a schedule for every cataclysm under heaven.

A time for riots and a time for control.
A time for mahou shoujo and a time for mechas.
A time for zombies and a time for 'zillas.
A time for deconstruction and a time for reconstruction.
A time for threatening suitors and a time for accepting suitors.
A time for fame and a time for obscurity.
A time for updating, and a time for delaying.
A time for drawing with photoshop, and a time for drawing by hand.
A time for the summer influx, and a time for the influx to fade away.
What hath a man more of all the timetables that he filleth under the desk lamp? I have seen permits given and permits violated, yet all is trollbait and a vexation of admins.'

Indeed, I saw what this man said, and proclaimed him wise. Yet, is this all thou hast given unto us, O Lain of the Wired? Art though pleased, O Queen Ping, to suffer your fans to fade after a newer comic? Where hast thou hidden thy heroes, thy Pantheon?

I went, then, to that ninja, Junpei, that first disciple, for his lessons of l33t. He invited me into a room, plain except for two banners, reading 遊 and 義.He then brought to me a Pong console, and said but one word, 'Play'. For seven days and seven nights I played, until despairing I cried 'Zetsuboushita! What is thy plan, teacher? This game hath but one sound, and scarce any thing else. What can it teach me? Speak, teacher, I beg of thee!'

He invited me then to sit, and we both of us sat, and after some moments he spake.
'L33t that can be spoken not true l33t.
Game that can be finished not true game.
When player score make three digit, score reset to zero. Player lost? No. Is player with high score superior player? No. Zero score is invitation, invitation to play more. Superior player is player who striveth ever to goal. Old game hath no goal. Why play? For game own sake. Bard say, "All is trollbait and vexation of admin." Junpei say, go play. L33t Way grew from paddle and square ball. Forum grow from game comic. Post, and forum grow.'

~~~~

Yeah, I dunno. I felt the need to post something, since this forum's so dead lately. Originally I thought to give a bunch of short anecdotes mimicing famous works of wisdom like the Tao te Ching and Analects of Confucius, but then decided a more narrative mode would work better.

As always, comments and (constructive) criticism are welcome. Praise is very welcome.
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Haldane
Posted: Aug 10 2011, 06:55 AM
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Nice satire of Ecclesiastes...well done.
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el Igore
Posted: Aug 10 2011, 03:07 PM
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Very metaphysic...
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iffy
Posted: Aug 10 2011, 03:55 PM
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Clearly, your fifteen minutes is not yet up.
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Rudbeck
Posted: Aug 10 2011, 04:49 PM
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OMG! A one-sentence post?! Who are you, and what have you done with ifyoucannotgoaboveme??

[All in jest. I enjoy your posts very much. What amazes me is the time you must take to make such reasoned and well-written analyses - I barely have time to read them, let alone have the time to devote similar effort myself! wink.gif I thank you. ]
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@Wavebird_Ocelot: Nicely done! An extremely literate parody that I found wonderful to read. Thanks for presenting an eloquent, if somewhat bleak, observation on the state of the Forums. Let us pray for restoration of da good ol' days!

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Wavebird_Ocelot
Posted: Aug 10 2011, 08:37 PM
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Thank you for the comments.

In case it's not clear, I would like to emphasise that this was not intended as a satire of Ecclesiastes itself; I just used that because I'm familiar with it and its tone and form suited my purpose.

BTW, I do have a couple snippets from the Analects of Confucius that, though not as good as the OP, may be worth posting. I may try to come up with some more, if I have some time to kill.

Of course, if anyone else has a Post of Great Price, by all means share it. Thou wilt not be casting thy pearls before n00bs.

'The Cheshire_Ocelot said, "To comment and receive comments on the pastiches ye post, is this not a pleasure? To bump threads and put the 'anal' in 'analyse', is this not a delight? If one doth not bite despite being set a banquet of trollbait, is he not l33t?"'

'The Cheshire_Ocelot said, "A forumite is not a postcount."'
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mistersaxon
Posted: Aug 18 2011, 02:31 PM
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The forum's quiet, dark and deep,
but I have many tweets to peep
and forum posts to make before I sleep. . .

---------------------

The artist at a lonesome desk
Doth draw in fear and dread,
And having once turned round draws on,
And turns no more his head;
Because he fears a rightful wrath
in the discussion thread.

----------------------

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And updated story comic shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the tale,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that shares his posts with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That wrote with us on MegaTokyo.
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Rudbeck
Posted: Aug 19 2011, 02:25 PM
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Well said, my brother!

For truly I count as brother and sister all we who soldier on, checking our fav forums each day for new threads to feast upon, or updates to broaden our conceptions!

I salute you all!

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Arwael
Posted: Aug 19 2011, 02:56 PM
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I saw the dreamers dreaming, I heard the people singing...
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Here's my addition, Blood Upon the Forums.

He was just a rookie poster and he surely shook with fright. He checked off his spelling and made sure his font was tight; He had to sit and listen to those awful forums roar, "You ain't gonna post no more!"

"Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. He ain't gonna post no more!"

'Is everybody happy?' cried the Moderator looking up, Our Hero feebly answered 'Yes,' and then they stood him up; He jumped into the fiery blast, his static line unhooked, And he ain't gonna post no more.

"Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. He ain't gonna post no more!"

"He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock. He felt the wind, he felt the heat, he felt the awful drop. The debate spilled out and wrapped around his legs. And he ain't gonna post no more."

"Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. He ain't gonna post no more!"

"The arguements swung around his neck, facts cracked his dome. Reasons were tied in knots around his skinny bones. The discussion became his shroud; he hurtled to the ground. And he ain't gonna post no more."

"Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. He ain't gonna post no more!"

"The crowd was on the spot, the forumites were running wild. The trolls jumped and screamed with glee, rolled up their sleeves and smiled. For it had been a week or more since last a thread had failed. And he ain't gonna post no more."

"Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. He ain't gonna post no more!"

"He hit the ground, the sound was "Splat," his blood went spurting high. His comrades then were heard to say: 'A helluva way to die!' He lay there rolling round in the welter of his gore. And he ain't gonna post no more."

"Glory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. Gory, glory, what a helluva way to die. He ain't gonna jump no more!"

"There was blood upon the avatar, there were brains upon the signature. Intestines were a'dangling from his forumite suit. He was a mess; they picked him up, and poured him from his boots. And he ain't gonna post no more."

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Wavebird_Ocelot
Posted: Aug 19 2011, 08:49 PM
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Oh ho~ now we're getting somewhere. Very nicely done, mistersaxon. I recognise the Robert Frost fragment; is there a source for the other two?

@Arwael:
IIRC, this is the first time you've written a fanwork, right? Glad to see you join in. ^_^

This post has been edited by Wavebird_Ocelot on Aug 20 2011, 12:27 AM
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Arwael
Posted: Aug 20 2011, 02:29 AM
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I saw the dreamers dreaming, I heard the people singing...
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Well, repurposing a song wasn't too horribly hard. It was making sure that the song and the theme meshed together smoothly that was the hard part. And yes, this is the first time I've written a fanwork. happy.gif

I had wanted to use Edgar A. Poe, but that wasn't about to happen. dry.gif
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Nobuyuki
Posted: Aug 20 2011, 03:25 AM
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QUOTE (Wavebird_Ocelot @ Aug 19 2011, 09:49 PM)
Oh ho~ now we're getting somewhere. Very nicely done, mistersaxon. I recognise the Robert Frost fragment; is there a source for the other two?

Well, the last one's Henry V. wink.gif

Poe in the middle? Coleridge woeisme.gif

This post has been edited by Nobuyuki on Aug 20 2011, 03:55 AM
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Elven Bookwyrm
Posted: Aug 20 2011, 10:01 AM
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Mmm, Sax. Frost, the Bard, and Coleridge?

I knew there was a reason I liked you.
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Wavebird_Ocelot
Posted: Aug 20 2011, 09:09 PM
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QUOTE (Nobuyuki @ Aug 20 2011, 03:25 AM)
Well, the last one's  Henry V.  ;)

Poe in the middle? Coleridge 

Ah, thank you. I'm a bit mad at myself for not catching Coleridge. -_-

I went ahead and added this thread to the CWDB, here, but of course feel free to keep adding to this thread.

As always, let me know if anything needs changed. In particular, I wasn't sure whether I ought to import mistersaxon's post as one entry or three...

It's also been a long time since I added a new author. ^_^
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mistersaxon
Posted: Aug 21 2011, 01:09 AM
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Unlike Arwael I'm in the CWDB already - both with filks and original stuff like haiku. I couldn't find any reference to my little addition to the "Should Miho Die" thread. It was called "She Comes" which title made sense at the time but now sounds quite NSFW although it isn't - at all.

QUOTE ("Elven_Bookworm")
Mmm, Sax. Frost, the Bard, and Coleridge?

I knew there was a reason I liked you.


"If you're going to steal, steal from the best" is what I always say. Also Aww, gee, thanks :blush:

This post has been edited by mistersaxon on Aug 21 2011, 02:50 AM
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