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> Temper Tantrum
Wavehawk
  Posted: Mar 23 2016, 05:28 AM
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Putting this here because there's no other place I can put it (if I put it in MTC I'm probably just going to lose my temper at the trolling it'll get)

It may just be that I'm used to most of you guys but I generally feel that if I post something here people actually read what I post (in what I believe to be common understandable english). I've been on other forums (anime, game, hobby, etc) and I find a great majority of the half-assed twits there make responses that have no bearing on what I'm posting and consistently (intentionally) misinterpret what I say. That also happens at work, where I say one thing and customers or coworkers intentionally misinterpret what I do or say then foist blame on me.

Jesus Holy Christ In Heaven I seriously feel like bashing people to death lately. Makes me wonder how far wrong my life has gone, but God, I'm not a smart man. And it horrifies me that most of the people I've been meeting, speaking to and arguing with are far stupider than I am. And somehow it's my goddamn job to make them happy.

Don't tell me to take a vacation. Everybody tells me that. I can't. I don't earn enough money to go on vacation. I need to do something else other than just shutting up and smiling whenever someone tosses bullshit in my face and expects me to eat it. And right now, short of going on a Columbine-style rampage I can;t think of any other solutions.
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Fal-chan
Posted: Apr 3 2016, 09:34 AM
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Would an internet hug be of any help, Hawkies? Afraid that's all I can think of to suggest.... sad.gif
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Wavehawk
Posted: Apr 12 2016, 09:42 PM
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Thanks, Fal-chan.

I'm just angry. More so than normal, because I can't vent on facebook or any other media. I can't have a sit-down talk with my RL social circles because they're part of the problem: people that don't listen to what you're saying but are reaching for 'sound bites' they can use or quote me on and likewise on other forums as well. It feels like everytime I open my mouth or type something someone's just jumping at the bit to 'reimagine' it tot heir needs.

BTW took a day off work today due to stress.
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S1arburst
Posted: May 8 2016, 08:26 PM
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sad.gif Maybe exercise if you aren't already, or listen to non-angry music? I understand there's only so much you can do outside of work if pretty much every interaction all day every day is infuriating though. I know you can't do too much with customers, but would it be possible to confront some of your coworkers about their behavior that is driving you up the wall?

Sorry you're feeling so angry and frustrated.
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Murren
Posted: Jun 27 2016, 11:34 AM
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Sorry to hear about this stuff

I can relate to an extent. At least about wanting to fucking kill people. Sometimes Buddhist shit and meditation and other spiritual stuff sometimes helps for me.

Also, I have another recommendation. 3 books actually. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne;
The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks; Ask And It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks.

Just in case you might think they're helpful. If you think they're total bs that's cool. They've just helped me with some stuff.

Also. If you play music, like if you play piano or play guitar or something; that can help ease stress and make you feel better.
------------

Also I understand about not having a place to vent. Glad you could vent here. I don't really know you very well, I've been around here a little while and seen some of your posts here, but if you need somewhere to vent and don't have anywhere else to vent, you can PM me here.

Also, I sometimes talk to a therapist about this kind of stuff. (I meet with a therapist every week). But I totally understand about finding a therapist who actually reacts appropriately to this kind of stuff and who actually helps. I was very very very selective in looking for a therapist. I looked at their websites to see kind of what their approach to therapy is, their philosophy, how much experience they have, how long they've been a therapist, what they specialize in/what issues they have the most expertise/experience with (depression, anxiety, which age group, gender, etc.), I scheduled free 30 minute consultations when possible (only some therapists offer them). And I was also looking for someone who had a certain type of demeanor (after talking with them on the phone or meeting with them).

And with my current therapist. I was with him for 7 months before I was completely honest with him. About suicidal stuff, or about wanting to attack other people. It was 7 months before I was completely honest with him. There has to be trust there. You have to trust that the person isn't going to just send you to the psychiatric hospital when you tell them your thoughts. And believe me, even with some of the stuff that you have dealt with (and I have seen some of the stuff you posted here in the past), there are GOOD therapists who aren't just full of shit, and who aren't just going to just call 911, and they aren't just enablers either. They are actually going to help you.*

This is what my therapist had to say about that subject: "In situations of therapy and psychiatry, the only time we call 911 to have a client go to a psychiatric hospital or emergency room, is when they say something like 'My girlfriend dumped me, and I am going to go kill her.' Or 'I am going to kill myself.' In other words, when they say they are ACTUALLY GOING to go do something. Not that they deal with recurring urges to. Not that they think about it. Not that they really want to do it. But that they're going to do it. And even in that situation, we're talking about it. We're discussing it. 911 is a last resort."

I'm talking about this because that was one of my fears. In my first appointment with this one psychiatrist a few years ago, I told her my history, and she said, "if you were having suicidal thoughts rights now, I would call 911 and have you go to the psychiatric hospital." I didn't go back to that psychiatrist.

There are mental health professionals you can trust. You just have to find them. With my current therapist, I feel like I can trust him to act appropriately, and to actually help me. It took some time, but I found him. It probably didn't need to take 7 months of meeting with him before I was completely honest with him. But that's how long it happened to take for me this time.

*Really important: You also have to find a therapist who is a good match for you personally. That's why I say I was looking for a therapist with a certain demeanor.

This is a lot of information, hopefully at least maybe part of it helps.

This post has been edited by Murren on Jun 27 2016, 07:20 PM
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rpshoggoth
Posted: Jul 13 2016, 03:32 PM
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Without getting into the underlying or systemic issues, there is a bit of reverse engineering you might be able to use that will help you tackle your issues. That's a lot of solving things in life, finding a way to make it less overwhelming, so you can start to make headway.


Do you have access to a place where you can hang a heavy bag? That is ideal, although a free standing one will do in a pinch.

See this amazon search

You beat the hell out of that, beat on it until your knuckles are bloody and you can't catch your breath from the exhaustion. You beat on it till you curse and scream, until your arms are lead and you can't lift them any more. You beat on that thing until the hot tears of frustration spill down your face and you can't see.

You beat on that thing and it will drain away the anger and pain and frustration and confusion. It probably won't take it all away, but it will take it away enough to allow you to stop feeling hopeless and overwhelmed.

There's a lot going on under the hood when it comes to the human mind, and it's easy to lose perspective, all those ancient survival instincts screaming at us to do things that don't make sense in the world we live in today. Just releasing the pressure for awhile can make all the difference.

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