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|Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > [Haiku] Nothing but Grays|
|Posted by: Mintaka May 22 2002, 07:32 AM|
| Blue skies and bright screen
Her future's keys in her hand
Not black or white -- gray.
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 22 2002, 10:11 AM|
| Hey, I like that! did u make it up urself!
It reminds me of the Pink song, dont let me get me.....
Dont know why....
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 22 2002, 10:42 AM|
I'm not here to hurt you I mean u no trouble,
Im just trying to find a way home. Can u help me?
The most lamest poem in the world from my mind. I was just finking about the afterlife and other realities. After reading the strip on wednesday it's got me thinking bout it.
|Posted by: Azuki May 22 2002, 03:39 PM|
| A note, Jaded-Souls:
just three lines is not haiku
there is a pattern
five syllables first
seven in the second line
and another five
preferred in classic haiku
but not essental
subtle grey rain-cloud
floating through a blank white world
whispers the future
<not haiku comments>Does that help you any, Jaded? I think you could be a pretty good poet if you were willing to put the effort into it. Actually, I'm fairly new to the whole poetry bit, but every so often my muse seems to wake up and give me a nudge in the right direction</not haiku comments>
|Posted by: Kiyonori Mishima May 22 2002, 06:38 PM|
| Glistening twilight,
The vanguard of tomorrow,
or how about...
That is Kotone's Beauty,
Rides upon grey skies
|Posted by: Rowan Bristol May 22 2002, 08:19 PM|
| I see on the screen
A girl of nothing but greys
Snowflake in spring
|Posted by: vacant_stare May 22 2002, 09:57 PM|
| the rules can be bent
haiku-outlet for the soul
nice poem, methinks
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 23 2002, 08:26 AM|
|It wasnt meant to be a haiku.|
|Posted by: Mintaka May 23 2002, 08:49 AM|
| I made up the haiku part, yeah.
I know, you meant my Paula Cole .sig file! It's from a song off her album This Fire. The song is called "Me". You can see the lyrics at http://www.wbr.com/paulacole/cmp/me.html.
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 23 2002, 09:06 AM|
| [reads the paula cole poster] Oh. shame.
U know i was actually talking about my poem as well as yours you know.
|Posted by: Cryshalo May 23 2002, 09:36 AM|
| On a wind with no
certainty; the future is
a skyful of grays
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 23 2002, 09:43 AM|
| I guess u mean the weather, huh?
(ba dum zing!)
thank u thank u very much.
|Posted by: squee May 23 2002, 11:53 AM|
| Fathomless, timeless,
without colours to distort
gently among the tree tops,
does she need a hug?
Though she carries keys,
is she thinking of the door,
or being lonely?
|Posted by: arcano100 May 23 2002, 12:02 PM|
In reply to:
Sadly, not true. That is only a guideline, and haikus can in fact bend a few sylables in either direction. What defines a haiku is the formula of one concept, symbol, idea, etc. in the first two lines, and another concept that either contradicts or compliments the first one in the third line.
In reply to:
Now that's just mean. Whos to say Jaded wasn't putting in effort?
|Posted by: -Aequitas- May 23 2002, 12:38 PM|
| A sunset, colors lost
Dogwoods Bloom, white flowers unseen
Her minds eye sees grey
Haven't wrote a poem in probably 8 years, and even when I did write poetry often, I rarely delved into Haiku... hope this one isn't too awful, just came up with it real quick and thought I'd share it
|Posted by: geekgirl May 23 2002, 08:22 PM|
| My dear one, please tell
me how you have discovered
the key to my heart?
|Posted by: Cryshalo May 23 2002, 08:35 PM|
Ouch, that's gotta sting.
In the colour and
the world we see; all she sees
is a world of gray;
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 24 2002, 04:05 AM|
|Actually that was something on my chest for a while so i decided to get off in that way, so i guess u could say its effort. It was never meant to be a haiku, it was just something i was thinking of and i needed the right words. I dedicate it to my Grandma. i'd be lost without her|
|Posted by: Azuki May 24 2002, 06:54 AM|
|<non-haiku>Er, sorry about that Jaded. I probably shouldn't judge a newbie by their post count. Shows what happens when you make assumptions.</non-haiku>|
|Posted by: Jaded-souls May 27 2002, 04:10 AM|
|Hey, its ok. life is all about assumptions.|
|Posted by: Kasuka May 27 2002, 01:51 PM|
| She should be happy,
She is beutiful as rain,
Yet she looks so sad.
~There is no Knowledge that is not power.
|Posted by: Cerulean May 27 2002, 04:26 PM|
| There, in ill-formed clouds
Concealed behind the gray veil