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|Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > Haiku:  Falling Darkly|
|Posted by: Garran Mar 15 2002, 12:46 AM|
|Posted by: luckyrabbit Mar 15 2002, 12:50 AM|
| Like a blindfold is
ripped from my eyes, I see now
please Largo, help her
|Posted by: Garran Mar 15 2002, 01:27 AM|
| (Reluctant as I am to try to do this in words, I suspect I'll be doing a lot)
The fluorescent lights
In the mirror reflect in
Her eyes and her eyes
Are wide with shock and the fall --
Her eyes are wide as she falls --
|Posted by: Rowan Bristol Mar 15 2002, 01:30 AM|
| Weakness evident
A moment of crippling pain
A lonely dial tone
|Posted by: kezra_cor Mar 15 2002, 01:31 AM|
| Words cannot describe
And yet I still have to try
Pen, don't fail me now
Burdened with weakness
Alone with her reflexion
She falls to the floor
|Posted by: cola Mar 15 2002, 03:46 AM|
| the book of 3v1l,
valued by largo; miho
doesn't care, leaves it
would she bravely try
to call curses down, for
the sake of their game?
|Posted by: Phaedrus Mar 15 2002, 04:56 AM|
| Vulnerable now,
her cries for help unanswered.
Eyes of an orphan.
Wow. THIS is why I read MT. Today's strip is incredible. How does Piro make a totally empty rectangle tear into your heart so?
|Posted by: Meagen Mar 15 2002, 08:01 AM|
| . . . . .
. . . . . . .
. . . . .
[Meagen's note: I feel that writing a haiku about today's strip with words would be wrong. The above sums up what I feel qutie well.]
|Posted by: ^usagi13^ Mar 15 2002, 08:26 AM|
| we are who we are
l33t, perhaps, or maybe not,
fool forum monkeys
not a bad effort,eh? i dedicate it to all you p30pl3 out therez!
|Posted by: blob Mar 15 2002, 10:48 AM|
| [!haiku] Damn. Meagen beat me to it. My first tought was along the same lines. [/!haiku]
Um, uh uh, um, hmmm.
Wha? Oh no. Uh-oh. No. No.
Eep. Well, that's not good.
[!haiku] Once I was more coherent, I came up with this: [/!haiku]
this dreadful turn of events.
I hope help arrives.
Miho has fallen.
I hope she dialed nine one one.
And aid is coming.
[!haiku] Damn, Fred. This is one phenomenal strip. This transcends strip. This is one fine piece of art. My heart aches. It's beautiful and horrible at the same time. I am in awe. [/!haiku[
|Posted by: Kase Mar 15 2002, 10:56 AM|
| That tragic maiden.
Now, she has fallen.
What does the teacher say now?
HOW DARE SHE SKIP CLASS!
Sickness to the twisted mind.
Will she be Ok?
|Posted by: Northwind Mar 15 2002, 11:01 AM|
| A sad day has dawned
What once was invincible
|Posted by: Phaedrus Mar 15 2002, 12:20 PM|
| From somewhere far off,
the tiles echo as I fall.
I am cold. So cold.
|Posted by: Spoon-Mijit Mar 15 2002, 01:13 PM|
| Miho in trouble
Doesn't want Largo to see
She's weak and needs help
|Posted by: jamboy Mar 15 2002, 01:25 PM|
Wow. Just wow.
This one has me really choked. I'm pretty much lost for words here. Amazing work, Piro-san.
So, instead of my own feeble efforts, I turn to the words of Koi Nagata...
Somebody has already
Fallen in advance.
|Posted by: squee Mar 15 2002, 08:32 PM|
| Feeling weak she leans,
dialing cellphone for support,
darkness strikes too soon.
Darkness clouds vision,
eyes dilate, panicked moment,
cellphone falls to floor.
Floor will soon recieve
Miho brutally falling,
conciousness snuffed out.
Who will come in aid?
Come and help her! Ambulance!
My world's dark, Miho.
|Posted by: eabrace Mar 15 2002, 09:09 PM|
| Queen of the Undead
She falls to the bathroom floor.
Thump. We hold our breath.
|Posted by: JRandomLurker Mar 15 2002, 11:47 PM|
| a troubled flower
petal eyes blossom with pain
[!haiku] I've been working on it since I got home this afternoon and I still can't get the darn thing right. Thanks go to Tanetris for help w/ the 2nd and 3rd lines, tho. Belladonna, also called Deadly Nightshade, is a poisonous herb with small purple flowers and black berries. It's fast becoming my favorite poetic name for Miho (after I stumbled on it looking up "nightshade" for one of my other haikus). D4mn that was a good comic. [/!haiku]
|Posted by: Lisa Mar 16 2002, 02:03 AM|
| aku no beppin
suishoku wa yukkuri
(if I got it right, it should be:
evil pretty girl
the beauty fades slowly
|Posted by: masamage Mar 16 2002, 10:26 AM|
|Just so you know, 'beppin' is a vulgar word in Japanese.|
|Posted by: Shadowsfootsteps Mar 16 2002, 10:41 AM|
|bah piro that foolish genious, releasing it on fri. so we have to wait an entire weekend.(Shakes fist)|
|Posted by: Shoorihoshi Mar 16 2002, 12:58 PM|
|poor us. We'll just have to wait. He'd BETTER make the next strip be about what happens to Miho...or else I think the fans are going to chase him with mallet-samas......*runs off to polish mallet-sama*|
|Posted by: ibmjones Mar 16 2002, 02:11 PM|
|Nah. . . next strip is going to be about Yuki.|
|Posted by: Garran Mar 16 2002, 03:36 PM|
| Please to be posting
In five-seven-five where the
Plenty of other
Threads for your speculative
Pleasure abound here ;;
(Yes, neither of my
Posts so far have been in five
Seven five. License*. ^^)
|Posted by: ibmjones Mar 16 2002, 04:08 PM|
| okay, I see my mistake.
just trying to reply to another post
please forgive my error; baka
|Posted by: masamage Mar 16 2002, 09:17 PM|
Do you call that, eh?
|Posted by: ibmjones Mar 16 2002, 09:34 PM|
| give me a break here
that is my very first haiku
so I messed up. . . . . freak!
|Posted by: masamage Mar 16 2002, 09:41 PM|
| Ah, young grasshopper,
Although you tried, I'm afraid
That was five-eight-five.
|Posted by: ibmjones Mar 16 2002, 10:04 PM|
| harder than I thought
right here, right now, I will give
this another try
|Posted by: Garran Mar 16 2002, 10:35 PM|
| Ah, the syllable/
Word mixup; I remember
Tripping on that one
You seem to have got
It down now, though, so welcome
To the haiku thread!
[!haiku]Now, let's go back to being somber. ^^;;[/!haiku]
|Posted by: NachoBoy Mar 16 2002, 11:32 PM|
| The darkness, fallen?
Her eyes, a look of terror.
Monday is too far.
(Attempting the art
Enjoying the master's work
Waiting for Monday.)
|Posted by: Garran Mar 16 2002, 11:39 PM|
In reply to:(I don't know if this play on words is intentional, but I really like it. With your permission, I will borrow it for my own interpretation...)
Darkness has fallen
Twilight of tunnel vision
Consummated in pain
|Posted by: Northwind Mar 16 2002, 11:50 PM|
| Phone falls with a clack.
Clothing rustles; she follows...
Then, all was quiet.
|Posted by: Lisa Mar 17 2002, 09:57 PM|
| Aaaugh, I knew I'd get something wrong. >_< Hmm... how can I change that... : I'd use onna, but that's woman... I dunno, just switch beppin for neesan. (although that would make the first line 6 syllables... aaaaagh)
|Posted by: NachoBoy Mar 17 2002, 10:12 PM|
| (Wow! You like me, you really like me!!)
Miho's pain is great,
But which is worse, her pain or
(The muse has left the building. She took my cheese, too.)
|Posted by: kezra_cor Mar 17 2002, 11:06 PM|
| As the time draws near
I'm waiting impatiently
For the next update
|Posted by: bunbun Mar 17 2002, 11:12 PM|
| F5! F5! I
refresh the page constantly.
Please, just one more hit!