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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > haiku: [202] dpd1 - Left Behind

Posted by: JRandomLurker Dec 9 2001, 03:29 AM
Maiden flees her home.
See there in her autumn eyes,
see what she has lost!

[!haiku]Dang this pic affected me. Moreso even than most of the comics... Gotta love melancholy. Kudos and then some, Piro! Do a CG![/!haiku]

Posted by: Lost Soul Dec 9 2001, 04:31 AM
Must there be haikus
Every time comic is made
Kind of pointless, right?

Posted by: O.P. Dec 9 2001, 04:36 AM
Haikus enliven!
Flow from pictures to feelings
Do them we must, yes!


Posted by: Phaedrus Dec 9 2001, 05:33 AM
Cold mist on endless
moor; a lost soul trudges on.
“How could they leave me?”

I think this image is like a Rohrschach test; so enigmatic your mind builds stories to try and understand it.

Posted by: Phaedrus Dec 9 2001, 05:41 AM
Her brother’s words wound
more deeply than any sword.
“Battle is for men”.

Posted by: Yen Wasabi Dec 9 2001, 05:44 AM
Runing through the void
Not knowing what to look for
Oh, i'm a tourist.

Posted by: Rowan Bristol Dec 9 2001, 06:55 AM
Betrayal ran deep
forgiveness a false hope
she watches them leave

Posted by: NachoBoy Dec 9 2001, 08:40 AM
"Ha, I don't need them,"
She turns to mount her horse, and
Sheds a single tear.

Posted by: thewigglyone40 Dec 9 2001, 11:02 AM
As she stands over it,
the grave tells a sad, sad story
as her tears fall there.

Kinda sucked huh? But that comic was inspired. I almost cried.

Posted by: Hidoi_Gokiburi Dec 9 2001, 11:03 AM
Cold, winter wind, flows
over the prairie that was
once her very home.

Now, naught but ashes,
her Tree burned down, wind scatters,
yet she'll remember.

Of how fate slew hope,
now childhood is left behind,
ahead a new road.

A dark, unknown one at that...

It seems a bit too dark, I know, but the emotions her face conveyed were those of sadness and grim determination. At least I felt it that way...
My first attempt at Haiku... how was it? -__-U ... Haikus are 5/7/5 right?

Posted by: Northwind Dec 10 2001, 12:31 AM
Haven't had much practice at sonnet-writing yet, hope my 5ki11z are up to this...

By promises of treasure were we led,
A comp'ny of brave men, five hundred strong.
One winter morning, while the sky was red,
We took the first steps of a journey long.

One pair of eyes were there to see us off,
Eyes that shone brighter than the morning sun.
A graceful bow she gave, her cap she doffed,
And asked a quiet question: "May I come?"

Would that I could allow this angel fair
To ride with us! And yet, what could I say?
"This is man's work", I told her, full of care;
She smiled sadly, nodded, turned away.

So while we left, a treasure for to find,
The greatest one of all was left behind.

Posted by: nlowre01 Dec 9 2001, 02:19 PM
No inspiration,
Muse on vacation. Must place
a long distance call.

Muse says she needs rest,
simple ones turn out best. Try
something seasonal.


Autumn fading fast,
winter approaching. A chill
wind touches my soul.

No one knew me half
as well as you. Now I must
find my way alone.


5th times a charm...

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: JavaGrue ]

Posted by: temporal_amnesia Dec 9 2001, 03:22 PM
Lonely maiden fair,
whither dost thou gaze with those
eyes so very sad?

Posted by: vorkon Dec 9 2001, 03:29 PM
Some words are too long
To use in a good haiku
Like "Pirogoeth"

The season's first snow.
What better day could there be
To see a sad girl?

[prose]yes, where I live we got our first snow last night, so I find it rather ironic that Piro would draw us a sad girl today[/prose

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: Vorkon ]

Posted by: Draegos Dec 9 2001, 03:35 PM
Originally posted by Lost Soul:
Must there be haikus
Every time comic is made
Kind of pointless, right?

It seems that someone
Always has to bitch when our
Gifted scribes create

There is no gun at
Your back; no one's forcing you
To read the damn thread!

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: Draegos ]

Posted by: vorkon Dec 9 2001, 03:39 PM
Originally posted by Phaedrus:
I think this image is like a Rohrschach test; so enigmatic your mind builds stories to try and understand it.


Largo no baka.
Always "slay this" and "frag that."
I want to roleplay!

edit: Changed the first line to "Largo no baka." Sounds more like something Piro would say than "Largo is a jerk."

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: Vorkon ]

Posted by: JRandomLurker Dec 9 2001, 04:19 PM
A girl in the morning cries.
See there in her autumn eyes,
A cold gravestone stands, unkind,
What she must now leave behind.

Some same words used, but
this *is* "Autumn Eyes [verse mix]"
Hope you enjoy it.

[!verse]There is some *really* good stuff here! Nothing needs be said about the 1337-ness of the regulars' efforts (that sonnet rocks). But Shannon and Ramen-Powered, your haiku are sw33t too. Welcome to the party. I had goosebumps all the way through this thread! happy.gif [/!verse]

Posted by: Northwind Dec 9 2001, 05:58 PM
Whoops... didn't see the tombstone there. Of course, that opens up a whole new realm of poetic possibilities... Oh, and I must say that I'm with the rest of the gang on this, Piro. That's one of the most powerful sketches I've seen you do. Congratulations.

The summer sun sets;
Where once was light, now darkness.
I will miss you, love.

And to Lost Soul...

Ah, you mock us now,
But soon you, too, shall succumb
To the haiku bug!

EDIT: Changed "summer" to "autumn". Seemed more appropriate in this instance.
EDIT, v2.0: And changed it back. Never mind.

[ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: Divinewind ]

Posted by: Case the Godzilla fan Dec 9 2001, 08:26 PM
Saddned...and alone.
Who has left this girl behind?
Holding back her tears...

Posted by: Justy-san Dec 9 2001, 08:56 PM
remote nodes are out
only she remains online
in virtual world

vanished into fog
in a haunting chorus of
"NO CARRIER" screams

solitary sprite
multiplayer online game
sad with one player

Posted by: Azuki Dec 9 2001, 11:28 PM
cairn at the roadside
chilling winter night recalled
crying over chaff

[speculation]Actually, this kinda reminds me of all the other projects and stuff that gets pushed aside and left behind. "Dead Piro Day: Left Behind" The art that is left behind?[/speculation]

Posted by: jasond Dec 10 2001, 05:08 AM
not many citizens here
I pray for some more
I like this place

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