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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > 10-17 haiku


Posted by: Master Edward Oct 17 2001, 03:39 AM
Home away from home -
It is not home without b33r!
But better than park.


Come to her senses,
Ping-chan changes out fuku -
What garb will she find?


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 03:47 AM
code:

void new_loc(loc here)
{
if boys(here) kick_them_outside();
new_clothes(my_role(here));
}

[!haiku]
/* preprocessor directives for fanboy, the local implementation of lint */

#define ; punctuation
#define ( punctuation
#define ) punctuation
#define { punctuation
#define } punctuation

[/!haiku]

edit: UBB eats whitespace, so I needed to quote the code.

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: Phaedrus ]


Posted by: Kefabi Oct 17 2001, 03:49 AM
quote:
void new_loc(loc here)
{
if boys(here) kick_them_outside();
new_clothes(my_role(here));
}

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sweet dude. Code, Poetry, and MT all in one post. You, my friend, are awesome.


Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 04:44 AM
Empty apartment,
aside from games and boxes,
good zombie shelter.

It is not Miho
coming around tonight though,
Kimiko's coming.

Kimiko's aura,
nearing with rapidity
will Piro make friends?

Ping-chan should speak up,
PS2 accessories
need to make friends too.

Offer Largo b33r
to stay outside, Piro - please?
Ping-chan deserves it...

I seem to recall
ping-chan needs to be played with,
to affirm her role.

So innocently,
sibling rivalry may sneak
into ping's program.

Already we see
Ping calls Piro 'big brother'.
Meet the new whanau

[!haiku]
Note: 'whanau' = 'family' in Maori, one of New Zealand's national languages.. Largely acknowledged as a beautiful language to listen to... 'wha' is pronounced as in the 'fa' in 'fart', 'nau' is pronounced 'naa-oo' in one syllable ('aa' as the 'a' in 'fart', 'oo' as in 'spooky')
- Just thought I'd be a little internationally obscure for a change

[haiku]
edit: browser can't
seem to format my posts right
it pisses me off.

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: squee ]


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 05:06 AM
quote:
Originally posted by squee:

Already we see
Ping calls Piro 'big brother'.
Meet the new whanau

Hey I missed that one.
Onii-san! Piro is
now her big brother!

Hmm. Little sister.
Potential girl friend. Chaos:
two women, one roof.


Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 05:21 AM
quote:
Hmm. Little sister.
Potential girl friend. Chaos:
two women, one roof.

I highly enjoy
your sense of what is to come,
forecasting chaos.

Chaos, sheer madness
ensue as Kimiko spies
a confusing scene.

Not only ping-chan,
largo is also present,
thwarting dinner plans?

Largo's paranoid;
She doesn't stand a chance of
dinner with Piro.

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: squee ]


Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 05:37 AM
Happened to notice
a fredart page over here
featuring ping-chan.

Wearing cute clothing,
she carries 'princess maker'
to install, perhaps?

I would be so pleased
to see ping find a copy
of the game, upstairs.


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 05:48 AM
Changing in attic
storeroom at Megagamers?
Can you say "cosplay"?

Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 05:57 AM
Which one of all my
favourite heroines will
ping-chan dress as, then?

I shudder to think
what ping could perhaps look like
dressed as sakura?

Ping needs her hair done,
so perhaps she could style it
like the cardcaptor?

Speaking of hair style,
who will she get to do it?
Kimiko, perhaps?

An interesting
and stimulating plot twist
it would be indeed!


Posted by: lar Oct 17 2001, 06:21 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Kefabi:
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweet
dude. Code, Poetry and M
T all in one post.

weird line breaks, 'tis true...
But the beats count right in it.
So this passes muster.

quote:
Originally posted by Kefabi:

You, my friend, are awe-
some. x x x x x x
x x x x x

But does this scan? No.
It needs syllables where x
now marks the spots, ne?

All posts here not flagged
with "[/haiku]" must conform, ne?
Rigid? No. Graceful.

quote:
Originally posted by Phaedrus:
[/haiku]

/*"preprocessor dir-
ectives for fanboy, the local implementation of lint */
[haiku]
[/QB]


That's the nicest thing
anyone's called me today.
Thanks, noble Phaedrus!

Yet I must hasten
to point out, your point was made
and taken, weeks hence.

You needn't repeat
it (unless done so for the
comedic effect).

(in which case, please DO
as it heightens the laughter,
for me at least. You?)


Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 06:48 AM
[!haiku]#!/usr/bin/perl -w[haiku]

use Haiku; use strict;
if Haiku::author('Phaedrus') {
'great' if Haiku::works(); }


It's a little hard
to code my haiku in perl,
never mind - I tried.


Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 07:00 AM
Robot modesty!
Piro, brother, not suitor:
so understanding.

[tribute_mode]

quote:
Originally posted by Phaedrus:
code:

void new_loc(loc here)
{
if boys(here) kick_them_outside();
new_clothes(my_role(here));
}



Old haiku masters
scratch their stubbly chins: what are
these strange expressions?

"Yu-RI-ka!" they cry,
"it captures the essence of
cyberspace! Lovely!"

[!haiku]

quote:
Originally posted by squee:
Note: 'whanau' = 'family' in Maori, one of New Zealand's national languages.. Largely acknowledged as a beautiful language to listen to...

Cool, you do Maori? Maori is on my linguistic short list. I used to live in Hawai'i, and Hawai'ian is related and also beautiful to the ear. They have a cognate, 'ohana.
[/!haiku]

[/tribute_mode]


Posted by: lar Oct 17 2001, 07:05 AM
Foreboding galore:
The note on door was ignored
What does it foretell?

But wait! More worry!
Huge ice cream cone, wombat box...
Not safe for Largo.

Miho's handwork? Or
just fannish paranoia?
Wait, watch, and worry.


Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 07:18 AM
I will try not to
stray from the thread for too long,
explaining Maori.

As with most Kiwis,
I have picked up my maori
from everyday life.

I do not study
maori as subject per se,
I just know some words.

Back to my haiku,
I feel jealous of Piro,
squee's a solo child.

I really don't know
if MT piro knows quite
how lucky he is.

A new little sis',
cheap to feed and quite friendly,
without rivalry...


Posted by: Master Edward Oct 17 2001, 07:28 AM
Fanboy, be assured,
Not a wombat lurks yonder
It's just a cute frog.


An old attic room
Piro and Largo thrown out -
Sound of Ping changing


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 07:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Just another fanboy:
Yet I must hasten
to point out, your point was made
and taken, weeks hence.

You needn't repeat
it (unless done so for the
comedic effect).


I yank your chain in
fun; pray speak if it gets old
fanboy, friend, lint-sama.

quote:
Originally posted by squee:
use Haiku; use strict;
if Haiku::author('Phaedrus') {
'great' if Haiku::works(); }

ignorant of perl
this old dog struggles to parse.
use strict? Sounds etchi.

quote:
Originally posted by smurd:
Old haiku masters
scratch their stubbly chins: what are
these strange expressions?

old haiku masters?
Stallman's haiku extension:
g'nu-basho shell.


Posted by: Northwind Oct 17 2001, 07:45 AM
Our heroes arrive,
Battered and weary, at "home".
No beer to be found.

Largo, gravely hurt,
Leg supported by a crutch,
Still plans strategy.

Ping, still fuku-clad,
A shy look on her cute face,
Requests privacy.

"Piro-oniisan?"
Reminds me of this fan strip.
Manga life is good.


Piro, astounded,
Looks to Largo for insight.
"All games should have guns!"

<PROSE>
Wasn't quite sure of the number of syllables in "oniisan", so I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and called it three. Apologies if it's wrong.
</PROSE>


Posted by: lar Oct 17 2001, 08:15 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Phaedrus:
I yank your chain in
fun; pray speak if it gets old
fanboy, friend, lint-sama

I ask this to learn,
NOT to critique: but *must* ask.
dash ess aye em aye

*That* is but one beat?
Nihonese is passing strange
to *this* westerner!

Some seem one, are two
Some seem two, are three or more
Some seem two, are one

Yet our "Engrish", too,
full of quirks it is. So then,
glory in strangeness!

Fear not, friend Phaedrus
your chain yanking is pleasant
respite from my work!


Posted by: Glump Oct 17 2001, 08:37 AM
From showing her best
Mosh, she wakes to find herself
A younger sister

It seems quite surreal
But perhaps, lacking sleep, Ping
Finds her dreams awake

[mou]That was more clunky than I would have preferred... :T[/mou]


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 08:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Just another fanboy:
I ask this to learn,
NOT to critique: but *must* ask.
dash ess aye em aye

*That* is but one beat?
Nihonese is passing strange
to *this* westerner!


I had to give you
some errata to flag wrong...
(I love this excuse).


Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 08:54 AM
QUOTE]Originally posted by Phaedrus:
old haiku masters?
Stallman's haiku extension:
g'nu-basho shell.
[/QUOTE]

gargling noises
Groans loudly, and applauses,
all at the same time.

quote:
Originally posted by Divine Wind:
<PROSE>Wasn't quite sure of the number of syllables in "oniisan", so I gave myself the benefit of the doubt and called it three. Apologies if it's wrong.
</PROSE>

[!haiku]
It's five. It's still a good entry, though, fret not; I don't think any of us count "-san" as two, though strictly speaking that's how it's done.

Vowels in Nihongo are either short (one mora) or long (two mora); hence o-ni-i-sa-n.

There are a couple of ways to represent long vowels in Eigo, the ASCII-friendliest being to simply double the vowel: Ootika, oniisan, oneesan, Yuu, etc. IMHO this is fluky because we have diphthongs spelled thus. The best is to use the macron, a line over the vowel, but not all our PCs support that kind of diacritical.
[/!haiku]


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 09:06 AM
Di Gi Charat's pet
sleeps on such a cone. Must Boo
now say "sq33k-g3mm4"?

Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 09:35 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Just another fanboy:
I ask this to learn,
NOT to critique: but *must* ask.
dash ess aye em aye

*That* is but one beat?
Nihonese is passing strange
to *this* westerner!


[!haiku]
-sama: sa-ma.

Actually Nihongo's phonetic makeup is simpler, easier, and is a better orthographic fit than English, as well as having fewer phonemes.

For one thing, they don't have consonant clusters, which is why their adaptations of our c.c.'s sound funny: "true blue" comes out too-roo boo-roo.

For another, they don't have diphthongs. Say the first vowel, then the one following it, and so on. Thus, sensei is se-n-se-i; sekai is se-ka-i; sempai is se-m-pa-i; arau is a-ra-u.

With the exception of n and m, every consonant is followed by a vowel. Some vowels and the syllables using them, like i and u, are often spoken without emphasis, which gives a similar effect, kinda like the schwa in Engrish. The classic example is desu, pronounced not "deh - soo" but "dess". So, they don't say "tooroo booroo" but "t[uh]roo b[uh]roo".

Even the funky consonants are simple: cha, shu, ryu, etc. One beat if the vowel is short, two if the vowel is long. Ryukyu is two beats because of the short u in each syllable, Kyoto has three beats because of the long o in the first syllable, and Tokyo has four beats because of the long o in both syllables. (They ought properly to be Latinized as "Kyouto" and "Toukyou", which would be a dead giveaway.)

Does that help?
[/!haiku]

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: HitScan Oct 17 2001, 11:00 PM
HitScan's tiny mind,
Smothered in smurd's lesson.
Best not to argue.

Until time is made,
No learning of Japanese,
Is very likely.

Perhaps, one day soon,
There may be some time for that,
Let us all hope so.


Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 11:41 PM
quote:
Originally posted by HitScan:
Until time is made,
No learning of Japanese,
Is very likely.

I started with a
wife, kid starting school, two jobs,
age of thirty-nine.

'Tis but a question
of want... I really wanted
to read manga well.


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 17 2001, 12:10 PM
smurd-sensei:
se-n-se-i is four. But
how do I say "n"?

This gaijin's poor tongue
wants a vowel as helper.
(Gumby: My brain hurts).


Posted by: Traks Oct 17 2001, 12:20 PM
Bah, I'm lost again.
While Ping changes, the poets
babble and babble.

Teeth kind of hurt.
No, I do not want to eat
a baby today.


Posted by: jamboy Oct 17 2001, 01:02 PM
If Piro did wish
To be real 3vil, he'd have
Kimiko come now.

A half-dressed Ping-chan,
Given she voices Ren'Ai,
Would send wrong signals...

[!haiku]
I feel particularly evil in counting Ren'Ai as two syllables, given Smurd-san's excellent missive above. However...

*flashes Poetic License*

[/!haiku]


Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 01:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Phaedrus:
smurd-sensei:
se-n-se-i is four. But
how do I say "n"?

Palatals, easy:
press tongue to upper teeth: then,
make a humming sound --

For n, open mouth;
for m, keep closed; resonance
makes the sound happen.

Same kana? For both?!
No fear: m before b and p,
n everywhere else.

Look at the manga:
short form of "affirmative,"
written thusly: n!

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: Northwind Oct 17 2001, 03:42 PM
Ah, I understand.
"Oniisan" it is.
Pardon my error.

As my lame excuse,
I say that my thoughts are of
Kimiko's spaghetti.


Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 03:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Divine Wind:
Ah, I understand.
"Oniisan" it is.
Pardon my error.

As my lame excuse,
I say that my thoughts are of
Kimiko's spaghetti.


'Twas still a good one...
No excuse needed! We learn,
and we have fun here.

I, too, eagerly
wait for Food Fairy magic,
and what it causes.


Posted by: Northwind Oct 17 2001, 04:00 PM
LoL...Whoopsie.
Seems I'm off my game tonight.
Another error.

As everyone knows,
The last line of the haiku
Is five beats in length.

In mine, however,
"Kimiko's spaghetti", there
Has SIX syllables.

This is the last time
I try to write a haiku
On four hours' sleep.


Posted by: smurd Oct 17 2001, 04:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Divine Wind:
This is the last time
I try to write a haiku
On four hours' sleep.

Ah, but so often,
inspiration is found at
the tether's end, yes?


Posted by: Northwind Oct 17 2001, 04:22 PM
quote:
Originally posted by smurd:
Ah, but so often,
inspiration is found at
the tether's end, yes?

True, I must admit.
Fatigue, imagination;
These go hand in hand.

Inspiration, though,
And being able to count;
Not the same at all.


Posted by: squee Oct 17 2001, 04:35 PM
I must now admit
my hands are used in counting
where haiku's concerned.

Five fingers held up,
seven fingers for this line,
back to only five.

Simple it must be,
for rarely do I foul up
flicking fingers thus.


Posted by: Glump Oct 17 2001, 04:55 PM
quote:
Originally posted by smurd:
Ah, but so often,
inspiration is found at
the tether's end, yes?

I tried to write here
A haiku rebuttal, but
Fell asleep instead

In dreams I composed
An epic, and as I woke
Lay still for a time

In the waking world
Caressing memory of
Loss, I did not weep

(Spontaneity
Midwifed these; perhaps lack of
Sleep does help in this

Given its other
Effects, though, I won't vouch for
My coherency)

[edit to ponder]
My initial plan
Was that the first stand alone
Perhaps that's better?
[/edit]

Another edit:
The third stanza's beats weren't
Off, just arranged wrong

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: Garran ]


Posted by: rsg_6100 Oct 17 2001, 06:29 PM
no beer and no TV
no beer, no TV make largo go
something something right?

Posted by: Cdv12084 Oct 17 2001, 06:33 PM
Welcome back home guys!
Does MG have dressing rooms?
Hope they are upstairs...

Largo Proverb 10:
"Home is where the b33r is at."
Wise men never lie.

Kawaii Ping-chan:
Inquiring minds ask, "Is
She fully equipped?"

New CBS show
To premiere based on MT.
Its name? "Oniisan"
(Exit haiku: Oniisan = Big Brother)

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: Clint V. ]


Posted by: r4pt0r_x Oct 17 2001, 06:34 PM
I'm guessing Ping has
some clothes she brought in a box
from Tsubasa's house

Posted by: Northwind Oct 17 2001, 06:35 PM
Something something, yes...
I shudder at the mere thought.
Miho - be afraid.

For, as we all know,
Hell itself hath no fury
Like Largo sober.


Posted by: Glump Oct 17 2001, 06:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by rsg_6100:
no beer and no TV
no beer, no TV make largo go
something something right?

But terebi there
Is, antennae menacing
The frog at the back

Combine that with Ping's
Socket, and you'll at least get
Commercials for beer

[ October 17, 2001: Message edited by: Garran ]


Posted by: Dark Falconer13 Oct 17 2001, 06:45 PM
No beer is no home
says Largo wisely; will he
still stay with no beer?

what is Ping-chan's next
outfit, you ask? I wonder
about this as well

For I did not know
that she cared what she wears, since
she is robot girl.


Posted by: Glump Oct 17 2001, 06:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Dark Falconer13:
For I did not know
that she cared what she wears, since
she is robot girl.

*Batting eyelashes*
I'm not fashion-conscious, I'm
Just programmed that way


Posted by: Glump Oct 17 2001, 11:33 PM
'Oniisan';
Will Ping now try to report
Kimiko's feelings?

(Actually, the
Image of Ping taking the
Role seriously -

Quizzing ev'ry girl
She meets on their Piro-thoughts -
Is most amusing happy.gif)


Posted by: JRandomLurker Oct 17 2001, 11:45 PM
My thoughts, scattered light,
forced into focus by form.
Must think, and *then* write.

Smurd-sensei,
how and where did you get your
m4d Japanese ski11z?

Squee, haiku *IS* KISS
Or, "Keep It Simple, Stupid".
I use fingers too.

[tanka]
Author reads your posts
and is impressed and humbled.
Witty, creative;
Fall is outside, Spring in here.
Electrons flower. Who knew?

As for the comic,
plot moves on, forums chatter.
I want for Friday;
A Future only Fred knows,
at least 'till it is The Past.
[/tanka]


[edit]
Missed the closing tag!
A whole thread, turned to tanka,
thanks to bad syntax!
[/edit]

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: J Random Lurker ]


Posted by: Glump Oct 17 2001, 11:53 PM
quote:
Originally posted by J Random Lurker:
A Future only Fred knows,
at least 'till it is The Past.

(Tanka tanka!)

Enter Future, from
Stage left. (S)he speaks to The Past,
"So, we meet a - hey!
Hold up a bit!" But in vain;
The other's already fled.

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: Garran ]


Posted by: JRandomLurker Oct 18 2001, 12:04 AM
Oh, hullo Garran!
Sleep, it seems, does help one write.
Or is that "lack of"...?

@_- zzzzzzzz


Posted by: Glump Oct 18 2001, 12:17 AM
quote:
Originally posted by J Random Lurker:
Oh, hullo Garran!
Sleep, it seems, does help one write.
Or is that "lack of"...?

@_- zzzzzzzz


You mean how when we
Should sleep, we doom our mornings
With late night haiku?

Too true; poetry
It seems, is a drug, claiming
Substitute to dreams

At this point, though, I'm
Willing for my sleep to be
Dreamless. Oyas'mi. happy.gif;;


Posted by: JRandomLurker Oct 18 2001, 12:32 AM
Work calls this 'morrow.
I shall be suffering yet.
Shoulda kept day off.

Haiku LSD...
Seventeen sylables of
halucination!

The last was a joke,
but this is not: Good Night bard,
sleep fast, day comes soon!

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: J Random Lurker ]


Posted by: smurd Oct 18 2001, 07:26 AM
quote:
Originally posted by J Random Lurker:
Smurd-sensei,
how and where did you get your
m4d Japanese ski11z?

Neither m4d, nor ski11z,
I wish they were... My only
m4dn3ss: love of tongues,

no matter where from.
Linguistics was my subject
in my college days;

translation, the field
I had chosen. (Now I work
in I.T. just like

everybody else.)
As for Nihongo: thanks to
manga, anime,

it's fun, not study:
I read "comics," watch "cartoons,"
I learn a great deal.

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: smurd Oct 18 2001, 07:54 AM
[tanka][blatant_disregard_for_tradition]

Thanks to J.R.L.,
We discover Tanka joys.
Two more lines -- how swell!
Extra fun for girls and boys,
Playing games with Tanka Toys!

[/blatant_disregard_for_tradition][/tanka]

[!haiku]
Before flinging any brickbats, I must say that somewhere in the back of my mind is the near-certainty that Phaedrus used this pun first.
[/!haiku]

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 18 2001, 09:03 AM
A new pun, I think.
No Tankas for me lately:
daughters don't like trucks.

Posted by: Northwind Oct 18 2001, 09:23 AM
More Japanese poems?
Forgive my ignorance, but
What is this "tanka"?

Posted by: Phaedrus Oct 18 2001, 10:05 AM
[tanka]
Divine Wind, a gift:
more syllables to rhyme with.
Lebensraum galore!
The template: Five. Seven. Five.
Seven. Seven. (Read more here).
[/tanka]

Edit:

Explain tanka in
haiku? Felt inelegant.
Redid as tanka.

[ October 18, 2001: Message edited by: Phaedrus ]


Posted by: Northwind Oct 18 2001, 06:49 PM
<TANKA>

Ah! I understand.
More syllables to work with.
Now, many haiku
Become unnecessary.
One tanka will do the job.

</TANKA>


Posted by: JRandomLurker Oct 19 2001, 05:48 PM
quote:
Originally posted by smurd:
[tanka][blatant_disregard_for_tradition]

Thanks to J.R.L.,
We discover Tanka joys.
Two more lines -- how swell!
Extra fun for girls and boys,
Playing games with Tanka Toys!

[/blatant_disregard_for_tradition][/tanka]


What have I unleashed
on this unsuspecting world?
Smurd with pun ammo!

happy.gif


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