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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > 7/11 haiku


Posted by: nekohime Jul 11 2001, 02:21 AM

largo's hunt for b33r
leads to some l33t a55-kickin'.
wh3n will w0nd3r5 c3453?


Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 03:50 AM
Years of discipline
and liver-damage pay off:
He is the l33t one.

Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 03:53 AM
In Japan, it seems
dutch courage may be bought in
vending machines. Sw33t!

Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 03:58 AM
Button glyphs, not words,
represent fight sounds. Holy
Tekken, Batman! CRASH!

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: Phaedrus ]


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 06:44 AM
Largo in his cups!!
Fiercely he punches and bites,
yes, punches and bites.

(apologies to Busson)

The sea at springtime,
All day it rises and falls,
yes, rises and falls.


Posted by: affert Jul 11 2001, 06:49 AM
Miko searches for
someone to save her brother
from the angery thugs.

Largo seeks booze to
calm his shaking hands. Boo tries
to make him help her.

Largo, without any
understanding, demands a
large bottle, then goes.

He is suprised by
the size of the thugs, but that
slows not l33tmaster.

He awakes to a
gracious Ken who tells the tale
of mighty Largo.

Miko blushes as
Largo inquirers about
his clothes, which arn't on.

Boo has succeeded
in getting Largo to do
something unselfish,

even if he has
no idea what he just did.
Ser'phim should be proud.


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 07:06 AM
I sing thy praises,
Ozeki-in-a-Cup! The
faint heart is made stout,

and action precludes
doubt (and common sense). O Brave
New Nihon, that hath

such vending machines
in it, dispensing virtue
for a coupla yen!

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 07:17 AM
I should be drinking.
I will smite your enemies
but not while sober.

(apologies to Shiki)

I want to sleep
Swat the flies
Softly, please.


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 07:35 AM
You, vice-filled Largo!
The only things not funny
Are the fists you swing.

(apologies to Raizan)

You rice-field maidens!
The only things not muddy
Are the songs you sing.


Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 07:58 AM
A naked fat guy?
I would ph34r consequences
of such potations.

It seems that Largo
is partially immune though.
Naked, but not fat.


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 08:12 AM
O Ken and Mika:
what could you ever know of
fierce boozy courage

that Largo summons
from blinkered Inebria,
his unsteady Muse?

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 08:21 AM
First sober morning:
the mirror I stare into
shows my fuxx0r'd f4c3.

(apologies to Murakami)

First autumn morning:
the mirror I stare into
shows my father's face.

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 08:42 AM
Fright! A lunatic!
This gaijin, whuppin' on my
ass -- I'm outta here!

(apologies to Kójó)

Night, and the moon!
My neighbor, playing on his flute -
out of tune!


Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 08:59 AM
Pained memories of
Ruri-Piro fuel his blows.
"Call ME b4k4, foo?"

Not the why, instead
The Who inspires Largo's wrath.
"Won't get foo'ed again!"


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 09:01 AM
Oof! Punned down in the street!

Posted by: fr13dch1k3n Jul 11 2001, 12:23 PM
Whoa... I DON'T get IT
Largo l33t fux0r5: BooYah!
Let your juices flow!

See battle Boo? Run Boo!
Aim for da eyes! Hack them! Slash!
Good job Boo! Here; b33r.


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 12:32 PM
Sick and hung-over,
Glimpse of grateful students;
Still chundering.

(aplogies to Akutagawa)

Sick and feverish
Glimpse of cherry blossoms
Still shivering.

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 12:39 PM
Oi! No less than four
haiku-bearing threads! Truly
verse is powerful!

Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 12:47 PM
Without flowing booze,
how to enjoy martial-arts
action sequences?

(apologies to Anonymous, everybody's fave)

Without flowing wine
How to enjoy lovely
Cherry blossoms?


Posted by: Echo Jul 11 2001, 01:43 PM
No foe can withstand
His haze-filled power technique:
Inebriation!

Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 01:58 PM
Ringing in ears stops;
but no memories remain.
A bitchin' evening!

(apologies to Basho)

Temple bells die out.
The fragrant blossoms remain.
A perfect evening!


Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 02:03 PM
[off-topic]

My bones creak with age;
music of my youth is dead.
fr13dch1k3n , try here.

My Generation
once hoped to die before we
got old. *sigh* Still here.

[/off-topic]

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: Phaedrus ]


Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 02:12 PM
[off-topic]

Smurd provides service
above and beyond duty:
parody and quote.

[!haiku]
I'm enjoying both! Please keep it up.
[/!haiku]

[/off-topic]

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: Phaedrus ]


Posted by: Northwind Jul 11 2001, 05:03 PM
I must, however,
Disagree with Largo here:
"Piro doesn't suck!"


Posted by: mimuspolyglotis Jul 11 2001, 06:11 PM
Ozeki one-cup
Favorite of the homeless
and salarymen

Gives Largo the courage
And immunity to pain
For cannibalism.

8 points of pun damage
Phaedrus,l337 god of haiku,
ph34r his haiku skills.

[EDIT: A spelling error
Made my haiku look bad, but
It is now fixed]

[ July 11, 2001: Message edited by: mimuspolyglotis ]


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 07:25 PM
at the alley's end
missing some of their fingers
scared bullies fleeing

(apologies to Shiki)

at the front gate
dropping their heads
lilies blooming


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 07:29 PM
a city culvert-
floating empty upside down
Ozeki cups, heaps!

(apologies to Shiki)

an old pond-
floating upside down
a cicada's shell


Posted by: smurd Jul 11 2001, 07:50 PM
Fear departs Largo!
Fists and fingers fly, bullies'
eyes are filled with tears

(apologies to Basho)

Spring departs.
Birds cry
Fishes' eyes are filled with tears


Posted by: Phaedrus Jul 11 2001, 08:52 PM
Largo prepares his
ultimate attack: ORAL
PHALANGECTOMY!

Iron Dom accepts
defeat: Sauted Spleen can't beat
Fingers Alfredo.


Posted by: jamboy Jul 12 2001, 10:49 AM
One Cup Ozeki?
One Cup Orochi more like
When Largo's involved.

(Apologies for
Obscure K.O.F. ref'rence.
Iori r0xx0rs!)

Don't think it's Tekken;
Fireball and Dragon punch
Have no place therein.


Posted by: smurd Jul 12 2001, 01:08 PM
quote:
Originally posted by JamBoy:
Don't think it's Tekken;
Fireball and Dragon punch
Have no place therein.

A "Fireball and
Dragon Punch"? My mind's been seized
to create a drink

worthy of this name.
Grab a bowl. For this you'll need
juice of passion fruit

and pineapple, plus
Ponderosa lemon, for
that extra pucker;

rums dark and light, and
Everclear (but just a bit),
and good tequila

(but reserve the worm),
applejack, bas Armagnac,
lotsa grenadine

to make it red! Then
blenderize to make it smooth.
A layer on top

of green Midori.
Drop in dry ice (for smoke). Then
serve. Then run like hell.


Posted by: lar Jul 12 2001, 03:40 PM
quote:
Originally posted by smurd:
A "Fireball and
Dragon Punch"? My mind's been seized
to create a drink

<snip>

of green Midori.
Drop in dry ice (for smoke). Then
serve. Then run like hell.


In my college days
we at my fraternity
often drank such as this.

We shouted "Gunga"
(for that was its name) or else
"many bottle punch"

Our recipe, I fear
was not as precise as this!
We poured it all in.

We added fruit too,
telling our girlfriends (or dates)
"no booze in the fruit!"

Which of course was false!
*All* the booze migrated there.
Hey, we were still young

and needed some aid
or lubrication, rather
(to tell simple truth)

as our social skills
were not convincing enough
for honest conquest.

Moral of this tale?
I say: "l33tm4st3r Largo:
Get Erika drunk!"


Posted by: smurd Jul 12 2001, 06:47 PM
If truth be told, I
made it up today. If such
a drink were real,

then the name would be
a pun upon "punch," as in:
"a nice Hawai'ian --."

I suspect that this
concoction is more suited
for jet propulsion.

[!haiku]*ahem* But Largo, fella, you might just love it.[/!haiku]

[ July 12, 2001: Message edited by: smurd ]


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