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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > Haiku [895] It's Not Going To Build Itself


Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Aug 18 2006, 03:55 AM
[!Haiku] Yay, insomnia! [/!Haiku]

Battered by fierce waves
Castle swept into the sea
High breakwater spares it


Posted by: el Igore Aug 18 2006, 05:55 AM
Is the 5-7-5 syllable rule the only one for Haikus, or are there more?

Posted by: Haldane Aug 18 2006, 09:14 AM
(comment)
- 5-7-5 is the most critical for us amatures.
- Try to encapsulate an idea or phrase into one line, that is, avoid carry over to the next line.
- All the lines can continue the same thought as Nekura's does, or a change is subject can draw an analogy or metaphor that provides contrast.
- This is particularly common is Japanese as is using nature references so that the entire poem is a metaphor for something else.
- In the poetry threads try to restrict your comments to poetic forms or at least bracket your comments (it's stupid, but humor us).
(/comment)

Young beauty prepared;
Off to work restored in faith.
Nothing builds itself.

Posted by: AkaiLady Aug 18 2006, 12:58 PM
Time for work to start,
One friend consoles another,
Is that fanservice?

Posted by: el Igore Aug 18 2006, 01:12 PM
[response]
Thanks for the advice and sorry for my rudeness to the art. wink.gif
[/response]


Messing with the Dog;
who will win is in the skies.
Ph34r her n3kkid skillz!

Posted by: masamage Aug 18 2006, 02:34 PM
QUOTE (el Igore @ Aug 18 2006, 04:55 AM)
Is the 5-7-5 syllable rule the only one for Haikus, or are there more?

Technically what we write here (and what most English-speakers write) are called 'Senryu', in that the only real rule is the syllable count. In real haiku, the exact syllable count doesn't matter so much--it's much more important to have some indication of what season this is happening in. There's also supposed to be a sort of break in thought between two of the lines.

Here's my attempt at a real haiku about today's MT:

Gentle, warming words
Can ease the chill inside you.
Don't forget your scarf.

My expertise ends just at the point of knowing whether that works or not. :P

Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Aug 19 2006, 11:53 AM
Damage to undo
Failure unacceptable
Take a chance, reach out

Posted by: littlethunder Aug 19 2006, 01:40 PM

such scary monsters
telephones and computers
bare our deepest fears


LittleThunder

Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Aug 20 2006, 11:03 AM
Looking for Courage
Cub ventures out to face fears
Old wolf watching her

Posted by: Rapierman Aug 21 2006, 01:40 AM
With the safe passage,
the mother bird shall send off
her fledgling young child.

Where now is the construct seen?
Only when hands create things.

Posted by: Parinoid Aug 21 2006, 02:39 AM
Two hearts aching close
Learning, mending, feeling safe
It will be alright

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