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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > Haiku [833]


Posted by: twofotisx Mar 15 2006, 01:46 PM
she was not worthy?
a crashing of self-esteem.
hitoshi you lie


I've wanted to do these for a while but i think i lack some basic creativity. Hopefully that will come with practice. Being the first haiku i've ever written i think it's not horrible...

Posted by: TechnoPenguin Mar 15 2006, 02:06 PM
Unexpected turn,
This is pretty confusing,
I'm glad I was wrong.

(d'oh, it sucks)

Posted by: Elite Owl Mar 15 2006, 02:06 PM
*Erika's point of view*
Manipulation.
How could Hitoshi do that?
I'm not good enough?

*Largo's point of view*
A blood-sucking leech.
His passing should not be mourned.
Move on Erika.

Posted by: Haldane Mar 15 2006, 02:26 PM
From the past... self hate
From the present... feel no guilt
For the future... grow

Posted by: Monkey-Sensei Mar 15 2006, 04:27 PM
Though he may be drunk
Largo tells it like it is.
Bow to the s3ns3i!

Posted by: l33t n1nj4 m4st3r Mar 15 2006, 07:28 PM
It was hitoshi
He was nothing but a leech
Must crush the b4st4rd!!

Posted by: AncestralHamster Mar 15 2006, 11:43 PM
Few words, to the point,
Lancing a festering boil.
Now the wound can heal.

[3-5-3]
Largo's thoughts:
Alcohol refined.
In b33r, truth.
[/3-5-3]

Posted by: l33t n1nj4 m4st3r Mar 16 2006, 12:35 AM
Largo understands.
Feels in himself some anger.
What else can he do?

Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Mar 16 2006, 12:56 AM
Game world finds real world
Comfort to a Broken Bird
Smarter than they think

Posted by: l33t n1nj4 m4st3r Mar 16 2006, 01:07 AM
the problem is there
its come back up from the past
will it ever leave?

Posted by: Mae Mar 16 2006, 06:22 AM
[Irish haiku]

The guy who you thought was a peach,
who instead of love heartache did teach,
Was a l33ch in disguise!
Don't swallow his lies!
A better man's well in your reach.

[/Irish haiku]

Posted by: Mintaka Mar 16 2006, 08:53 AM
He crushes a can
Pumps up a heart collapsed
Gives her what he loves

To a worthy alliance!
The bubbles of healing rise.

Posted by: Insanityplea Mar 16 2006, 09:27 AM
Arg I'm spending time thinking up an Erika one so I'll post one later. For now I'll just do largo and an overall position. (I will be also doing my past present and futures later.)

Largo

So nothing seems right
But let me give you advice
Listen carefully

I will explain now
He was nothing but a l33ch
He should not be mourned

Overall

People from the past
They say they will hold you back
They will dampen thoughts

[edit]Since I couldn't make a japanese Haiku to Erika I'll make this one

Erika

A man Erika she did find
He put her in one heck of a bind
years later she preached
He was not but a l33ch
Now largo looks a lot more kind

Posted by: l33t n1nj4 m4st3r Mar 16 2006, 09:30 AM
*Erika*
Have you heard, Largo?
I have told you everything.
How you react?

Posted by: Insanityplea Mar 16 2006, 09:44 AM
Now for some timed Haiku

Largo

Past:

Love is not passion
I will not fall for its charm
I'm the l33t m4573r

Present:

So the guy dumped her
L33ch written all over him
Time to Killzor him

Erika

Past:

I met this guy once
He then became my boyfriend
But soon we parted

Present:

(last erika post i did)

Posted by: l33t n1nj4 m4st3r Mar 16 2006, 09:49 AM
what is this m4dness?
he just left you in the dirt?
that b4st4rd l3ch3r!

Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Mar 16 2006, 10:15 AM
For his betrayal
No forgiveness in Heaven
Rebuilding from scratch

Posted by: Shoka Mar 16 2006, 02:50 PM
[verse]

It's not you who stole coals
From the fire in the hearth,
Till the bricks all went cold
And the embers went dark;
When the hollow flue moaned
To the wind's bitter lash,
It's not you who took warmth
And returned only ash.

So kneel on the flagstones
And put down the tray,
Rake out the dead cinders,
Then throw them away.
Relinquish your winters,
Release all the pain,
Lay out some fresh tinder,
Rekindle the flame.

[/verse]

Posted by: Arreksu Mar 16 2006, 03:20 PM
*My perspective*
Less of t3h w33pies,
More of t3h drunk butt kickingz
And t3h f4ncy gunz.

tongue.gif

Posted by: Insanityplea Mar 16 2006, 05:52 PM
Looks like we are dispersing into other poem formats so I ask you all who wants to just make this general poem format but keep in mind you do at least one haiku. (or whatever you want)

*view on thread series

This thread was once made of haiku
Yet the haiku was modded to two
This thread is now diverse
Its been given a curse
This thread is now something quite new

Posted by: Mae Mar 16 2006, 07:48 PM
A few English forms
In a Japanese setting
Seems appropriate

[Haiku] For as long as I've been here there's always been a little variety, which I like. Shoka, nice as always, and very fitting to the comic, sweet and a little hopeful. [/Haiku]

Posted by: kaitou Mar 16 2006, 09:37 PM
There's a cute chick here,
I may be falling in love.
Wait, there's still more b33r!

Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Mar 17 2006, 01:19 AM
All forms are welcome
Participation is key
Honing bardic skills

Illusion fractured
Happiness the cruelest lie
Discarded doll mourns

Posted by: AncestralHamster Mar 17 2006, 04:20 AM
Haiku dominant
Yet other verse forms welcome.
An old tradition.

[!haiku]
While haiku is the primary verse form in the haiku thread, other forms have long been acceptable. It used to be non-Japanese verse forms were "made legal" for the thread by prefacing them with fake UBB tags such as [Irish haiku] for limerick, [Norse haiku] for skaldic, or [Shakespearean haiku] for sonnets. Japanese forms were usually just acknowledged as such, e.g., [tanka]. That tagging practice no longer appears to be in use, save by a few.

As for [3-5-3] ... Eleven syllables arranged 3-5-3 is also used occasionally, the argument being that since English carries a higher information content than Japanese, using fewer syllables is necessary to bring English haiku closer in spirit to the original Japanese form. Consider this an alternate (and often challenging) form of English haiku.

I've discussed this subject in previous haiku threads. If anyone would like more info:

http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1668152&view=findpost&p=2993751

http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1702859&view=findpost&p=3922684 (Reading this thread from the top might be more useful instead of just the post I linked.)

[/!haiku]

Posted by: JRandomLurker Mar 17 2006, 07:07 AM
a new can of beer
is Largo's way of giving
Erika a hug?

Posted by: JRandomLurker Mar 17 2006, 07:23 AM
[follow-on_renga]

(For most boys it only means
"I wanna get in your pants"

But a l33t m4573r
can use the subtle healing
properties of b33r--

friendship and tongue-loosening--
and still be a gentleman)

[/follow-on_renga]


[!haiku--Hurrah! So much verse for this comic. A good long thread~. ^_^ --]

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