|Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
|Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > [DoubleDrabble]This was Love|
|Posted by: WyndhamHeart Feb 1 2006, 07:47 PM|
| He was walking the normal route to his home, when he saw her there, sitting on a bench. She looked upset. He hoped she was okay. She had seen more down lately. He didnít know why, but the thought that she was miserable made him miserable. She was so beautiful there, just sitting and hugging her book bag, was that her book bag? He had not seen it before. It looked different from the one she had before. Oh, wait! He had seen it before, but that was a while ago, he had thought she had thrown it away. It wasnít like her usual type of bag and such a bulky, ugly bad looked out of place next to her petite beautiful frame.
He saw her pick up a phone and saw her expression change and he instinctively stopped on the sidewalk and watched her. She got up and started running, and then she tripped. He ran to her immediately, only and completely thinking of her and her safety. If she werenít okay, he would die. He needed to help her and do whatever he could for this angel.
EDIT: Of course you guys can finish it, dude, all that's making me upset is how much better you are than me
|Posted by: Babblefish Feb 1 2006, 07:50 PM|
| hmmm.....interesting. This seems very realistic.
|Posted by: MuffinLurver Feb 1 2006, 07:58 PM|
| he seems like such a nice guy, especially when you write it... though, I personally am fond of the "bulky, ugly bag" XD
mm.. I just hope he doesn't end up being a Hojo...
|Posted by: Kage Feb 1 2006, 08:46 PM|
| <<Wyn: I'm sorry if I'm stepping on your toes here. If I see a short chunk of fiction, I can't help but lengthen it. Call it a habit carried over from RP>>
But then, tragedy struck! The woman of his dreams was helped to her feet by another. The thought of talking to two girls was a bit much for him, and she didn't need his help anymore. He backed off, content to watch from afar. It was what he had always done, and would continue to do for the foreseeable future. Oh how he wished for the life of that man in the store; that 'Piro'!
He tried to shake the thought out of his head. He tried telling himself that this Piro character was much too old for his Yuki, but it was impossible. What was it about the ganjin that Sodona-san found so attractive? Why did she persist when he obviously didn't care? To what lengths would she go to win his favor?
The possible answers to the last question drove him to a conclusion: One way or another, Piro would have to be taken out of the picture. He would need to act NOW, lest the woman he sought fall prey to the artist.
Phil disappeared into the crowd. Acting rashly would not get him anywhere. He needed a plan, and the supplies necessary to carry it out.
<<Oh, I also couldn't resist the opportunity to call him 'Phil.' XD >>
|Posted by: CountAlpicola Feb 1 2006, 08:48 PM|
| I think your word count is a touch off, Wyndham. But, be that as it may, the angel thing caught my imagination, and I found myself finishing the scene. I hope an additional drabble is not unwelcome...
 Damnit, Kage! How dare you complete the scene before me! (nice work, dude) [/edit]
Where an angel lie, darkness encroaches; the glow of her wings barely holding at bay the dim blackness of the galaxies. The world becomes a sphere, and the sphere a single point.
A siren's call rings out, breaking the darkness, adding new light. The time has come for a savior. The saint, with conviction, approaches.
But the darkness breaks to reveal a second light. Vibrant wings drip with luminance, shattering the shell of defeat. The glow so bright, it may weaken the knees of any man.
Retreat, young saint. The time has not yet come to move past pinging angels.
|Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Feb 1 2006, 10:49 PM|
| The would-be suitor wilts, courage leaving him as another attends to his angel, his muse. He curses his fate under his breath as he watches the two. So long he has watched, pined, waited...and his moment of triumph was cruelly snatched from him...by a robot girl! Dejection courses through him like a toxin, sapping his will and rooting him to the spot, innefectual. He scuffs the toe of his shoe against the pavement, burning with his shame and failure. When will it be my time? Who am I kidding? She hasn't noticed me yet, she probably never will.
No clue if I did this right, but I thought I'd give it a whirl...
|Posted by: kensain Feb 4 2006, 05:50 AM|
no offence anyone but i think yours was best....
oh by the way you all left out the fact he was really a spy for the army of undeadliness and was going to suck out yuki's magic-girliness but fell in love with her instead