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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > Haiku: [773] A Powerful Move


Posted by: AncestralHamster Oct 13 2005, 11:54 PM
[Irish Haiku]

There once was a pert little lass
Who gave L33t Dude a swell view of her *ahem*.
But to his dismay,
She saw his eyes stray,
And she ended his fun with a *SMASH!*

[/Irish Haiku]

Posted by: Small Pink Mouse Oct 14 2005, 12:19 AM
Twin hills are pleasent
to look on but their mistress
discourages trespass.

Posted by: Rapierman Oct 14 2005, 12:28 AM
Tempt not the lion.
The resulting attack can
be very deadly.

Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Oct 14 2005, 12:46 AM
Teasing the tiger
Suppresses this l33t lady
Violence explodes!

Posted by: Orphi Oct 14 2005, 01:09 AM
Even as she sees
Winter's cruel tides oncoming
He is still human

Posted by: Haldane Oct 14 2005, 09:30 AM
[unwanted advice]
Ahem... in the interest of the public service I would like to discuss the 'standard' form for a limeric, or 'Irish Haiku'.

the normal sylable count is 9,9,5,5,9, but to get the full impact, each line of 9 sylables needs to have it's own rythm count of 1-2, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3. Remember that when needed it is posible to borrow a beat from the adjacent phrase.

Examples:
There once / was a maiden / from Jersey
There once / was a girl from / Nantucket

So, we get:
There once was a chix0r named Junko
Who's Sensei was just like a Zombie
She made him sit down
And kicked him around
Until he woke up and he pnzed her.

Note: Irish Haiku is not known for being good poetry.
[/unwanted advice]

Posted by: richvh Oct 14 2005, 09:49 AM
[/haiku]
[more unwanted advice]
Haldane's description of a limerick (known in these parts as an Irish haiku) is interesting, but not completely accurate. Lines 1, 2 and 5 have three feet, each of which has the rhythm
da-DA-da
or
da-DA
(These have special names, I just can't remember them.)
Lines 3 and 4 have the rhythm
da-DA-da|da-DA

There is also a mandatory rhyme sceme of A-A-B-B-A, which Haldane completely ignored.

This would be a better version of Haldane's limerick:
[/more unwanted advice]
[irish haiku]
There once was a chixor named Junko
Who picked up her sensei, one Largo.
She made him sit down,
Then slapped him around
Until he woke up, then KO!
[/irish haiku]

Posted by: MoneyMan Oct 14 2005, 10:45 AM
Her ass is round, soft
and not to be owned by you,
Leet-dood, nor Largo

Posted by: DeusExBiotica Oct 14 2005, 10:53 AM
3v3r p\/\/n53|] 1n 64m3,
8u7 |-|4nd5i/\/g 0|_|t h34|)z 1|\ |i|=3,
t3h |34b3'5 d|_|4l1t'/.

Posted by: Haldane Oct 14 2005, 11:05 AM
Sensei of the form
From which Lim'rics can be drawn
I yield to rich vh

Posted by: NightStrife Oct 14 2005, 11:44 AM
QUOTE (richvh)
Lines 1, 2 and 5 have three feet, each of which has the rhythm
da-DA-da
or
da-DA
(These have special names, I just can't remember them.)
Lines 3 and 4 have the rhythm
da-DA-da|da-DA

[!haiku]
Limericks by definition actually use the anapestic foot in every line, which is UUS, not USU (that's an amphibrach). However, common practice often involves the removal of an unstressed syllable at the beginning, or the addition of one at the end, which causes no end of confusion in reading and writing them. They do have the AABBA rhyme scheme, though, with each A line having three feet and each B line having two.

As I said, it gets changed a lot. My opinion is that, for reasons of flow, at least the last three lines should adhere strictly to anapestic feet. A remarkably bad example:
[/!haiku]

[irish haiku]
With his speech and his tactics so l33t
It seems L33t d00d could never be beat
But his skillz out of game
Are comparably lame
Next to Junko's quick "Chikan Delete!"
[/irish]

Posted by: richvh Oct 14 2005, 12:18 PM
Thanks to Haldane, but
My claim to Limerick King
To Nightstrife I yield.

Posted by: Shizuruu Oct 14 2005, 02:34 PM
Speak of the Irish
Sensei's of the spoken word
Watch limericks unfold

Posted by: Temenus Oct 14 2005, 02:48 PM
Unsafe to leer at,
Look at the crouching tiger
Anger the dragon

/Temenus, who was inspired by the general animal theme...

Posted by: Navaruk Oct 14 2005, 04:35 PM
The sage master finds
The studentís fighting spirit
How unfortunate

Posted by: uberlegen Oct 14 2005, 05:56 PM
[irish haiku]
After watching poor Junko fall flat
l33t d00d gives her some tips on combat
But before getting caught
On a nice rear end shot
He thinks "I'd like to combo on that!"
[/irish haiku]

Posted by: Mae Oct 14 2005, 08:36 PM
QUOTE (DeusExBiotica @ Oct 14 2005, 10:53 AM)
3v3r p\/\/n53|] 1n 64m3,
8u7 |-|4nd5i/\/g 0|_|t h34|)z 1|\ |i|=3,
t3h |34b3'5 d|_|4l1t'/.

Translation:

Electronic loss
In real life victorious
Two sides of a girl


Posted by: NekuraEtowaru Oct 14 2005, 08:56 PM
[!Haiku] Damn, Mae, that was SWEET![/!Haiku]

Pixels on a screen
Defeat in virtual worlds
Victory in Real

Posted by: cosmicShadow Oct 15 2005, 09:40 AM
[!haiku] Anyone still not quite understanding the Limerick idea, I was reminded of this same discussion happening http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1674249&st=0&#entry3153510 And just to confuse the matter more...[/!haiku]

[waltz_haiku]
Fighting and flurrying,
Junko fights, cards flying.
Distracted by L33t D00d,
she loses the match.

L33t d00d, in turn, needs to
rapidly learn that an
eyefull will lead to a
"Chikan!" and "CRASH!"

[/waltz_haiku]

Posted by: Taluria Oct 15 2005, 04:32 PM
A small grin is seen
The young one notices it
She has attacked him

another:
"Chikan!" is her cry
She attacks without warning
Commotion ensues

Posted by: Navaruk Oct 15 2005, 11:27 PM
[Irish_Haiku?]
that waltz haiku looks pretty serene
but I don't know how it should be seen
could an expert of these
make a list if you please
so I know what your in house terms mean
[/Irish_Haiku?]

Posted by: AncestralHamster Oct 16 2005, 01:28 AM
QUOTE (Navaruk @ Oct 15 2005, 10:27 PM)
[Irish_Haiku?]
that waltz haiku looks pretty serene
but I don't know how it should be seen
could an expert of these
make a list if you please
so I know what your in house terms mean
[/Irish_Haiku?]

[!haiku]

The "waltz haiku" is properly termed the http://www.stinky.com/dactyl/dactyl.html. Masamage introduced them to the forum more than a year ago in http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1675891&view=findpost&p=3204153. Waltz haiku enjoyed a brief popularity, but with the dwindling of interest in haiku (and verse threads in general) vanished with its practitioners.

[/!haiku]

Posted by: Damion Requiem Oct 17 2005, 08:22 AM
[!haiku]So long as we're practicing our forms, I might as well dust off my old favorite. It's been in retirement far too long.[/!haiku]

[Shakespearean haiku]
Perchance you stumbled on those schoolside legions
Gripped in gakuran and furrow'd brow
Whisp'ring 'bout the lass on Punished Pinion
(For boys, like farmhands, seek but rows to plow.)
Perchance you've watched them chortle, sundered-voiced
In confidence, the lands they'd like to visit.
"Around that grove, I'd bet the silk-trade's choice.
The southern mountains? Doubtlessly exquisite."
But there's a man near Shinjuku, I've heard,
With blood-drenched dreads and shoeprints on his teeth,
And though you might not understand his words
You'd doubtless gather what his speech bequeaths:
Albeit local sights are rather nice,
They sure as hell ain't worth the ticket price.
[/Shakespearean haiku]

Posted by: Rapierman Oct 17 2005, 11:16 AM
I fear for us still
if Snoop Dog would approach us
and rap about this.

[!haiku]

...and if you don't believe me...

[/!haiku]

[rap haiku]

Homey Leet Dude get the four-one-one
on fly girl Junko's little buns,
but she ain't diggin' this little scene
an' tried to crack heads, ya know ah mean?
Word 'em up, y'all.

[/rap haiku]

[!haiku]

God, that was a stretch. tongue.gif

[/!haiku]

Posted by: AncestralHamster Oct 17 2005, 11:10 PM
QUOTE (Damion Requiem @ Oct 17 2005, 07:22 AM)
[!haiku]So long as we're practicing our forms, I might as well dust off my old favorite.  It's been in retirement far too long.[/!haiku]

[!haiku]
Ah, I like that one, Damion. It has the appropriately Shakespearean feel with the blatant sexual innuendo. Wink wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more! wink.gif

However, you were responsible for introducing http://www.geocities.com/Bikies_poetry/rondeau.html to this forum. It would be appropriate for you to revive it. {Not that I request you do so ... I can't produce verse other than haiku and limerick quickly, and the only rondeau I've written took several days (http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1677204&view=findpost&p=3232143). So it's hardly fair to ask you to do something I'm reluctant to do myself.}

Another form that briefly enjoyed favor and then quickly vanished was "Norse Haiku" or as it is properly named, http://www.lojban.org/tiki/tiki-print.php?page=Old+Norse+verse+forms (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alliterative_verse#Old_Norse_poetic_forms). I used the Anglo-Saxon form of this in the RP forum for a OLSaL tribute: http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1215445&view=findpost&p=1252072.

<Snip Rapierman's "rap haiku">
blink.gif oh ... dear ... god ...
That's ... um ... very ... um ... creative, Rapierman. Now please don't do that again! wacko.gif

[/!haiku]

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