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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > [haiku] [0712] - The Perfect Kill


Posted by: Artemi May 20 2005, 10:54 AM
Looks like I’m alone.
Piro’s useless with her here.
I am surrounded…
Enemies closing quickly;
Time for me to frag out!


And from a different perspective?

Closing on the prey,
A patient hunter smiles.
All working as planned,
First one, then two, and now three…
Time to make the perfect kill.

Posted by: Oogami_Taichou May 20 2005, 11:20 AM
For love and justice
soon I will make my move known
henshin, perfect kill


(My first attempt at an MT Haiku)

Posted by: Atra Domina May 20 2005, 11:25 AM
QUOTE (Artemi @ May 20 2005, 10:54 AM)
Looks like I’m alone.
Piro’s useless with her here.
I am surrounded…
Enemies closing quickly;
Time for me to frag out!


And from a different perspective?

Closing on the prey,
A patient hunter smiles.
All working as planned,
First one, then two, and now three…
Time to make the perfect kill.

I thought haiku were only supposed to have 17 syllables total?

Or is this some new modern haiku of which I'm unaware? huh.gif

Posted by: Mintaka May 20 2005, 05:01 PM
For convenience's sake, haiku threads also include other Japanese forms. (Not to mention the "Irish haiku", better known as a limerick; or whatever other poetry people wish to write about the day's comic.)

This particular form is a tanka (5-7-5-7-7). It predates the haiku; and in fact, haikus were derived from it. I believe that a good number of the poems in The Tale of Genji are tankas.


Posted by: Mintaka May 20 2005, 05:16 PM
A little glossary of Japanese poetry.

onji: syllable/morpheme. (Including syllables like "n".)

Tanka: 5-7-5-7-7
Renga: 'Linked verse'. The second half is written by another poet as an answer.
Each alternate set of stanzas should also makes sense as 7-7, 5-7-5.
kami-no-ku: 'Upper phrase'. 5-7-5 part. Also called maeku or katuata.
waki: 7-7 part. Also called tsukeku.

Haiku: 5-7-5. Nature/seasonal reference. Also called haikai (earlier name).
Senryu: 5-7-5. Human nature.
Renku: Renga made out of only haikus, with each haiku's last line
becoming the first line of the next haiku.

Katuata: a stanza of 19 onji (5-7-7) or 17 onji (5-7-5)

Choka: A series of 5-7 verses joined together, ending in a 7-7.
Hanka: 'Opposing song'. Tankas inside the choka to break it up a little.
Kaeshiuta: 'Returning song'. Another name for hanka.

Sedooka: 5-7-7, 5-7-7. Repeats the last three lines of a tanka.

Sedoka: 2 sets of 17 onji (5-7-5)
Mondo: 2 sets of 17 onji, each half written by a different poet.

Makurakotoba: 'pillow word'. Words which refer/recall other things. Kennings. Refs.
Utamakura: Placenames that act as references.
Frex, Yoshinoyama reminds people of cherry blossoms.
Kakekotoba: 'pivot word'. Pun, play on words, phrase with ambiguous meaning.


Posted by: Artemi May 20 2005, 08:01 PM
QUOTE (Mintaka @ May 20 2005, 06:01 PM)
For convenience's sake, haiku threads also include other Japanese forms. (Not to mention the "Irish haiku", better known as a limerick; or whatever other poetry people wish to write about the day's comic.)

Hmm... good point. Would "poetry" work better then "haiku"? I keep forgetting what actually is classed as what...


Posted by: Rapierman May 20 2005, 10:27 PM
QUOTE (Artemi @ May 20 2005, 09:01 PM)
Hmm... good point. Would "poetry" work better then "haiku"? I keep forgetting what actually is classed as what...

[!haiku]

Nah. These styles are a part of Japanese culture, so "haiku" should stay. "Poetry" is too general.

[/!haiku]

Posted by: Oogami_Taichou May 23 2005, 07:12 AM
isn't there something else were somone writes a Haiku and then the next person adds two lines to make it a Tanka?

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