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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > Drabble [685] Chatty Little Thing


Posted by: Brent Dax Mar 11 2005, 04:18 AM
Drabbles are short stories of exactly 100 words, generally focusing on a character's thoughts and feelings.
--

Zero kyu zero kyu ichi shi hachi shi shi kyu hachi.

I should call her. I really should. I know that. But...

I know how it would go. I'd hit the Talk button. I'd put the phone to my ear. I’d hear her sweet voice, the voice so entrancing people pay to hear it: moshimoshi? And I'd lock up.

Either that or I'd babble. I'd embarrass myself, like I always do, like I did this morning. I'd just sound like a dork again. Why should I subject myself to that?

Because I like her.

But she could never like me.


[!drabble]Special thanks to Izumi-sensei, who taught me what little I know.[/!drabble]

Posted by: Artemi Mar 11 2005, 07:07 AM
[!drabble]
Time to try out one of these... This looks like fun. And I am going by MS Word's word count, which puts me at 100. It may not be correct... *shrug*
[/!drabble]

These Americans are really stirring things up.

Erika is out with her new friend, and it looks like Piro is having trouble with the ladies… Poor guy does not know how well he has it. That Ping is quite the bundle of joy, too, today. It looks like she is happy about her upcoming date.

This is a good thing, though. I have not seen Erika this lively in quite a while now, and it is nice to see her with friends her age, again. Kimiko is starting to come out of her little shell, as well.

Kids these days.

Posted by: Brent Dax Mar 11 2005, 03:20 PM
QUOTE (Artemi @ Mar 11 2005, 05:07 AM)
These Americans are really stirring things up.

[!drabble]
Nice, very nice. I didn't check the word count, but the main problem M$ Word seems to have is with ellipses, and it seems to be a non-issue when there's a space after it.
[/!drabble]

Posted by: Rapierman Mar 11 2005, 10:36 PM
Tell me, Piro...

...why did you trade Nanasawa's number for a few dates? I could have given it to you if you really wanted it that badly.

You know, that phone number would look even better if you stopped staring at it and started dialing.

So start dialing, right now.

Posted by: cdera Mar 11 2005, 11:16 PM
Did anyone else notice how Piro started blushing when his manager said he could've given him the phone number?

Posted by: Brent Dax Mar 11 2005, 11:56 PM
QUOTE (cdera @ Mar 11 2005, 09:16 PM)
Did anyone else notice how Piro started blushing when his manager said he could've given him the phone number?

Yes.

This isn't really a discussion thread--it's a creative writing thread focusing on the genre of drabbles (stories of exactly 100 words). There are other threads for discussion; probably the best place to discuss this is in the Master Discussion Thread for strip 685: http://forums.megatokyo.com/index.php?showtopic=1695197.

----

@Firesword: Once again, please stick to the genre. A half-drabble is exactly 50 words, a full drabble is exactly 100, and a double drabble is exactly 200--not a single word more or less. A 36-word story is no more a drabble than a six-syllable poem is a haiku.

Half of what makes drabble-writing interesting is the constrained length. I wouldn't mind if you were a couple words off--that could be explained by crappy word-counting features in many word processors, or by a mistake in manual counting--but ignoring the rules that other writers strive to follow is irritating.

Posted by: Zippo Mar 12 2005, 05:09 AM
[!Drabble] Okay, never done this before.. but I'll give it a go. Its one hundred words according to that nifty drabble verifier (thank-you Brent Dax). I also hope its okay that I did Piro's thoughts even though Mr Dax did already. [/!Drabble]

I just have to push send.

Push send Damn it, the number’s right there! It’s easy, right? It’s just a button.

But then she’ll answer it. I don’t know what I’ll say, what she’ll say. What if she doesn’t want to talk to me at all?

God I hate myself, I am such a LOSER. She’ll know I’m a loser. I shouldn’t have made those dates with Ping. But I did it for her...

She deserves better anyway. I should just put this away.

I need a save point.



Posted by: Brent Dax Mar 12 2005, 05:25 AM
QUOTE (Zippo @ Mar 12 2005, 03:09 AM)
[!Drabble]  Okay, never done this before.. but I'll give it a go.  Its one hundred words according to that nifty drabble verifier (thank-you Brent Dax).  I also hope its okay that I did Piro's thoughts even though Mr Dax did already. [/!Drabble]

[!drabble]
Ano...

I'm really sorry, but you seem to have hit a bug (or rather, an omission) in the verifier. It didn't recognize the curly apostrophes used in your drabble, so whenever you used an apostrophe it thought you were starting a new word.

I've now fixed the word counter; the correct count on your drabble is 89 words, not 100. I'm really sorry about this.

It's a pretty good drabble, though.

And it's okay to repost a character who's already been done--different people have different perspectives, after all, and my opinion on Piro certainly isn't the end-all. ;^)

Once again, gomennasai...
[/!drabble]

Posted by: Firesword Mar 12 2005, 08:07 AM
[!Drabble] Sorry anout that Dax guess all I can do now ia just Read&Review

Posted by: Rapierman Mar 12 2005, 05:14 PM
[!drabble]

Congratulations, Dax. Your program is working perfectly, as verified by me. Well done.

[/!drabble]

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