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Megatokyo Forums > Story Discussions > Haiku: [0609] - "groping For Happiness"


Posted by: AncestralHamster Sep 15 2004, 08:33 AM
[3-5-3]

Pain blossoms:
The steel flower wilts
When alone.

[/3-5-3]

Posted by: Forest Sage Sep 15 2004, 08:51 AM

Pushed down, pushed away.
He hides behind a door. She
hides behind a smile.



Posted by: Lukkai Sep 15 2004, 09:44 AM
QUOTE (AncestralHamster @ Sep 15 2004, 04:33 PM)
[3-5-3]

Pain blossoms:
The steel flower wilts
When alone.

[/3-5-3]

[5-5]
Nowhere to go now
No one to be with
[/5-5]

Nowhere to go
No one to hold
Erika's sad
Just being told
Someone got married
Got over the pain
And what about her?
Her life's down the drain
Stuck in her memory
Thinking about the past
Kimiko distracts her
But how long will it last?

[/haiku]That just popped into my mind when I wrote the answer on Hamster's post. Sounded interesting with that 4x4, 4x5, 4x6 and every two lines rhyming.[haiku]


When everything's done
Standing in the middle of it
She's terribly tired


One acting happy
One finally giving in
Two times the same thing


Deep, so deep
These emotions lie
Pain's still here
No longer buried
I'm feeling so tired

Posted by: Temenus Sep 15 2004, 10:08 AM
Destruction, outside
Distraction, grasping for one
Distraught, internal

/Temenus

Posted by: AncestralHamster Sep 15 2004, 10:09 PM
QUOTE (Lukkai @ Sep 15 2004, 03:44 PM)
[5-5]
Nowhere to go now
No one to be with
[/5-5]

[3-5-3]
I chose this
Life of a lone wolf.
A hard life.
[/3-5-3]

Posted by: NightStrife Sep 15 2004, 10:49 PM
[!haiku] Continuing my apparent tradition of putting everything but haiku in the haiku thread: [/!haiku]

[verse]

The situation slowly sinking in,
Kimiko's heart is wrenched and placed within,
But not where once it lay.

Her mind takes stock but finds itself left short,
And good sense her emotions do distort,
And leave in disarray.

And so she smiles, though quite confused inside,
With pain that her demeanor wants to hide
And ever cast away.

The Idol Grey comes back with weights of past;
A heart that flies old sorrow on its mast,
And verges on collapse.

A life has grown without her by its side,
A soul for which her heart could not provide;
Poor choices forced its lapse.

And so she stands too scalded now to cry,
And brooding on if she should still yet try
To briefly cling to scraps.

And then a falsely grinning anguish comes,
A tune of pleasant worry softly hums,
Refocusing the scene.

But thinly veiled distress is eas'ly cracked,
With masks torn off when shown the hidden fact,
Compelled to then come clean.

Emotions gain a way to themselves sort,
And mentors find a pupil to support,
In chaos made serene.

[/verse]

[!haiku] (Though in MT it won't last long happy.gif)

I like that form (not surprising since it crawled out of my head), so I'll probably use it again in the future happy.gif [/!haiku]

Posted by: snark Sep 16 2004, 04:37 AM
[irish haiku]
Some say words are but thoughts made external,
But she's hiding her feelings internal,
"Why, is there something wrong,
That you're blushing so strong?"
Has her room-mate been reading her journal?

Kimiko:
Well, I'm sure I don't know what you mean!
What's this thing that you claim to have seen?
There's not much to repeat,
Only Piro's retreat,
All before you returned to the scene.

Erika:
So then why are you struggling to cope?
I'd have thought that would just make you mope.
So what else did he do,
That has so troubled you?
Did he come-on to you with a... puerile attempt to take advantage of the situation?

Kimiko:
I am shocked that is what you would think;
He's just gone to wash up in the sink!

Erika (interrupting):
But that doesn't explain -
Are you trying to feign?
'Cause you're getting incredibly pink!

Kimiko:
I won't dignify with a response,
Can't you get this idea through your bonce?
Nothing ecchi went on,
I'm just sad that he's gone,
And I don't have that much nonchalance.
[/irish haiku]

Posted by: Lukkai Sep 16 2004, 02:49 PM
QUOTE (AncestralHamster @ Sep 16 2004, 06:09 AM)
[3-5-3]
I chose this
Life of a lone wolf.
A hard life.
[/3-5-3]

[5-5]
But still I question
The choices I made.
[/5-5]

Posted by: DCR Sep 16 2004, 05:27 PM
Set myself aside
Once again, a friend needs help
From where comes my help?

Posted by: AncestralHamster Sep 16 2004, 09:08 PM
QUOTE (DCR @ Sep 16 2004, 11:27 PM)
Set myself aside
Once again, a friend needs help
From where comes my help?

Kimiko's distress offers
Distraction from my own pain.

QUOTE (Lukkai)
[5-5]
But still I question
The choices I made.
[/5-5]

[3-5-3]
Different Choice?
Would I be happy?
Path now blocked.
[/3-5-3]

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