Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format
Megatokyo Forums > SD Fanworks > [haiku] 1251 - Not Something You'd Understand


Posted by: Lukkai Jan 15 2010, 08:36 AM
white to black
black to white
a young girl's thoughts
shatter with might
whatever a wall
you're hiding behind
now stop to withdraw
some people are kind
and if just for them
come back to the light
'cause hiding forever
just can't be right



for someone only
to finally look past it
is that her desire


there once was this girl who was too sure
that the only way people felt pure
was with joy in each breath
to be mourning her death
now a young girl is bringing her cure

Posted by: mistersaxon Jan 15 2010, 07:07 PM
For Miho
If I told you
that I loved you
would you let me hold you?

Could warm hands,
fingers twined in passion,
inhaled scent of hair, skin, of you, all of you, just and only ever you -
make you believe
as I do?

Or would the will that binds
simply loosen, prise apart and crumble into dust
the trust
we shared
in those long moments of perfection:
comfort that we dared
to offer?

That touch we never felt;
those words, those hopes, the dreams we sent
- spinning fragile text into a bridge, a bond -
their mere existence challenges us now
to try to deny that once we loved;
It survives our grief, our betrayal, our falling into dust.

I dared to dream, you feared to dream.
I denied your tragedy, you swooned within it -
burdened by its yoke you fell
and in that falling failed:
denied escape and hope and love.

But I love you still
and always will.
My first love - were you ever real?

[sorry, not a haiku this time. It turns out I had more to say smile.gif ]

Posted by: Tangent Jan 15 2010, 08:24 PM
All alone in bed
a young soul tries to save her
and restore her love

Posted by: paarfi Jan 16 2010, 07:40 AM
zombies
call me their queen
follow my story
live for me
for my pain

it feels good to feel bad
to feel sorry for the lost
the unfortunate
the hurt
I understand

but I am so tired
of the pain
of dying
with rapt crowds
cheering me on

I am not my tragedy
to love my story
is not to love me
no one loves
the real me

Posted by: mylemonblue Jan 16 2010, 07:58 AM
They have directions
Arrows point and exes not
The Darkly Cute waits

Posted by: Invisigoth Jan 16 2010, 08:14 AM
There's been but two strips in which "zombie queen" has been uttered.

http://megatokyo.com/search.php?q=%22zombie+queen%22

So unless you think that Largo is a zombie then you're haiku is a failure.

Zombies obey Miho because she compels them too, not because she rules them

Posted by: paarfi Jan 16 2010, 08:24 AM
QUOTE (Invisigoth @ Jan 16 2010, 08:14 AM)
So unless you think that Largo is a zombie then you're haiku is a failure.
Zombies obey Miho because she compels them too,  not because she rules them

This is poetry. It is about truth, not mere facts. happy.gif
There is decent evidence that the zombies and the CoE dead are the same thing, just viewed through different "visions". But that's not totally conclusive, so you might be right in the end.
And in spite of the thread title, mine ain't haiku. Just crappy blank verse. tongue.gif

Posted by: Teddy-Werebear Jan 16 2010, 01:28 PM
Honor I obey,
Yet my eyes are open for all,
What do I now see?

Miho in her bed,
A ponytail on her head,
Certainly not dead.

huh.gif

Posted by: mistersaxon Jan 16 2010, 03:23 PM
Teddy . . *sniff* . . . that's beautiful. . .

*waaaah!*

If only you meant it tongue.gif

Posted by: Tangent Jan 16 2010, 07:39 PM
QUOTE (Teddy-Werebear @ Jan 16 2010, 02:28 PM)
Honor I obey,
Yet my eyes are open for all,
What do I now see?

Zombies! Kill it with Fire! Fire, I say!

*hands Teddy Werebear a lit torch*

Use it to immolate the infidel Zombie Queen! You know, deep down, you want to! happy.gif

Posted by: Lukkai Jan 16 2010, 09:49 PM
*ahem*

and even if fire
is all that you are seeking
please do it in verse
tongue.gif


Btw: Those were some beautiful works, honestly! Feels good to get back in ye ol' poetry again. Haven't tried myself at it for several years, I think. (Not counting the chara I play in an p&p rpg lately, who likes to sometimes make witty remarks in haiku form. Pretty hard to get them together fast enough to keep up with the game, I tell you! laugh.gif )

Posted by: Con Jan 16 2010, 11:30 PM
Menace Me

Every one of my 'freinds'
Feasts on my death
Some seek amends
They should save their breath
I've done it all before
I have nothing left to give
I don't want it anymore
I'll never really live
There's no point in trying
My fate has been sealed
So stop this useless lying
I don't want to be healed
There's something in your voice; the way you say that name
I have lost all hope, will this time won't be the same?


...you know, writing this was somehow cathartic. I feel better now. ^.^

Posted by: mistersaxon Jan 17 2010, 03:47 AM
Hmm - a clerihew:

Tohya Miho
Sad Girl In Snow
Brought to the hospital in bits
Now has long hair and big ^h^h Nope, clerihews are not supposed to be vulgar. *ahem*

Try again . . .

Tohya Miho
Sad Girl In Snow
Brought to the hospital D.O.A.
Seems like she's once again ready to play!

Posted by: Tangent Jan 17 2010, 10:31 AM
We shall kill with fire!
Tohya is the Zombie Queen
We need the Werebear.

Meh. That sucks.

She cannot be seen
cannot be heard or held close
she has become Death

Posted by: Con Jan 17 2010, 10:57 AM
QUOTE (Con @ Jan 17 2010, 12:30 AM)
Menace Me

Every one of my 'friends'
Feasts on my death
Some seek amends
They should save their breath
I've done it all before
I have nothing left to give
I don't want it anymore
I'll never really live
There's no point in trying
My fate has been sealed
So stop this useless lying
I don't want to be healed
There's something in your voice; the way you say that name
I have lost all hope, will this time be the same?

Fixed! I guess I was sleepier than I thought when I wrote this. ^.^;

BTW, you guys write more comedic poetry than dramatic! XD

Posted by: Tangent Jan 17 2010, 11:02 AM
How ironic. I tend to work better with dramatic elements myself. That's why my poetry and haiku tend to be more of the tearjerkers. ^^;;

Posted by: DrunkenSailor Jan 17 2010, 11:34 AM
Sleepy Con had hope.
This time won't be the same.
Alert Con has none.

W. K. is angry.
The haikus are about fun.
Lifes about a dream.

I liked these all, but I thought Con's was great. I thought you were trying to be clever (and had succeeded) with the last line of your first one.

DS

Posted by: paarfi Jan 17 2010, 12:25 PM
QUOTE (Con @ Jan 16 2010, 11:30 PM)
Menace Me

That's really nice Con. wub.gif

Posted by: Elven Bookwyrm Jan 17 2010, 12:27 PM
QUOTE (Con @ Jan 16 2010, 11:30 PM)
Menace Me

I agree with paarfi. wub.gif

Posted by: Con Jan 17 2010, 03:42 PM
QUOTE (Con @ Jan 17 2010, 12:30 AM)
Menace Me

Every one of my 'friends'
Feasts on my death
Some seek amends
They should save their breath
I've done it all before
I have nothing left to give
I don't want it anymore
I'll never really live
There's no point in trying
My fate has been sealed
So stop this useless lying
I don't want to be healed
There's something in your voice; the way you say that name
I have lost all hope, will this time not be the same?

And now the Drunken Sailor edit! tongue.gif

I'm glad everybody liked it. The idea came to me while reading through the others. ^.^

@DS: So does that mean I should be sleepy? And, who is W.K.?

@Tangent: It's good to be able to do both. Maybe I'll give a funny one a try sometime. *ponders*

Posted by: mistersaxon Jan 17 2010, 05:25 PM
I got very confused by the first version of that poem Con but the DS Club Mix version is spot on! Do you write ballads at all? If not then maybe you should give it a try?

"Live life. Laugh long. Love."
Ardent, ambitious advice!
Death's dour daughter doubts.

Word games are fun at any time though smile.gif

Posted by: Lukkai Jan 20 2010, 10:26 AM
questions and questions
come to my mind
race through my conscience
leaving behind
loss and confusion
that I have to bear
I can't help but thinking
the answer is near
but still I don't get it
am I reading this right
will she stay in the darkness
or come back to the light
questions and questions
they won't let me sleep
and just one thing's for certain
that I'm in way to deep


I love this freestyle rhymes. As Con said, they have a certain cathartic effect.

Powered by Invision Power Board (http://www.invisionboard.com)
© Invision Power Services (http://www.invisionpower.com)