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Megatokyo Forums > SD Fanworks > [haiku 1048] Little Fantasy.

Posted by: BinaryTears Sep 28 2007, 07:35 AM
Little fantasy,
Telling you could unravel
stories not yet told.

Violent forum split.
Is it control or defence?
Yin-yang inaction.

For herself, much doubt.
But for an abstract ideal
Fire burns within her.

Your words ripped my heart.
Now you would kill her Kotone?
KLAP! means no, Piro.

Very thick glasses.
He has not spoken once yet.
Will he play a part?

Posted by: Rudbeck Sep 28 2007, 09:46 AM
Ahh, a lovely work to greet me on a Friday morning! wub.gif Thank you.

You cover much ground in this piece: touching on the attitudes of Piro, Kimiko, Miho, and even the SD forumites! Well done! Interesting observation about the dude with thick glasses - perhaps he's a lead animator or something and will figure prominently later. Will be fun to see.

Have a great weekend!

Rudbeck emot-kamina.gif

Posted by: darrin Sep 28 2007, 12:04 PM
QUOTE (BinaryTears @ Sep 28 2007, 07:35 AM)
KLAP! means no, Piro.
That line made me ell oh ell.
Awesome work, BT!

Posted by: MoneyMan Sep 28 2007, 12:09 PM
Cute receptionist
looks in the idol's eyes and
can't believe her ears

Posted by: BinaryTears Sep 30 2007, 05:11 PM
Alas poor haiku.
Perhaps more would come to read
your lines in color?

Mystery of love,
One paradox of many.
Open hand holds best.

When he sees her shine
Will Piro be enlightened?
He does not own her.

In corporate games
Humanity never wins.
Kotone must break free.

Posted by: Rudbeck Sep 30 2007, 05:44 PM
Ah, but your haiku
Is full of color, BT;
In your reader's mind.

Nice sequel! I love "Open hand holds best" - a beautiful image. Thanks, as always.

[quibble] Isn't Kotone three syllables?[/quibble]

Posted by: BinaryTears Sep 30 2007, 06:53 PM
QUOTE (Rudbeck @ Sep 30 2007, 05:44 PM)
[quibble] Isn't Kotone three syllables?[/quibble]

Oh dear! Put that down
to my total ignorance.
In my head its two.

Thanks for the feedback!

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